A widowed father of three adopted boys writes to Louisiana and shares his story with her after he read her books. The man lives in Mansfield, Ohio.
Friday, June 3, 2005, 3:50 p.m., E.D.T.~
Dear Ms. Sandusky~
I read both of your books, "A Family Made out of Miracles and Rainbows: The Sandusky Family Story, A True Story of Love and International Adoption" and its sequel, "...And The Miracles Continue", and I want to thank you for telling people "how it is". Too many people don't know what being an adoptive parent is all about, and they oftentimes have misguided perceptions about adoption as a whole.
My name is Bart Simpson (DON'T laugh, but that is really my given name!), and I am a 35-year-old Caucasian male who is a single parent to three boys under the age of seven. We live in Mansfield, Ohio, which is right between Cleveland and Columbus, in the northcentral part of the state. My wife, Annie, died last year of a very rare and overwhelming bacterial infection, and it has been a very traumatic year for all of us.
Our boys--okay, make that MY boys--are named Zebediah Ezekial (6), Kendrick Obediah (5), and the little man of the family, four-year-old Jack Christian. Two of them ("Zebbie" and Kenny) came to us from Africa (Kenya) two years ago, and little Jack came to us just last year from Mexico. I am happy to say that Jackie and Kenny are both healthy and sound, but our oldest child, Zebediah, has HIV. He is so far doing well (with medication), but I am terrified that he will develop full-blown AIDS someday adn after the unexpected death of my wife, Annie, I don't think I can handle any more tragedy right now.
You can't imagine the stress I am under, Louie. Besides raising three very active sons, I am working three jobs trying to provide for myself and my children, and it has NOT been at ALL easy. I work as a dishwasher at Olive Garden (three nights a week, on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday), and I also work at Wal*Mart (three times a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday) and at Pizza Hut (four days a week (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday). I don't have any days off from work, and it seems that I am either at work or am at home, trying to be a good father (and trying to catch up on much needed sleep!). My mother is staying with us, so she can help watch the children while I am at my jobs. I am working partly to pay off the ever-mounting bills and provide my kids with the stuff they need in life, and mostly to help keep my mind off Annie, so I don't have to keep on thinking about her--or missing her--so much.
Until last year, my wife and myself had the perfect life, and we adopted Kenny, Zebbie, and Jackie, and life seemed great; but then Annie somehow cut her leg on a nail that was sticking out from the wall in our shed, and not long after that, she became sick. At first, we thought it was nothing, but then Annie took a huge step for the worse, and she collapsed; and we had to call an ambulance on her because we did NOT know WHAT was going on with her. By the time she got to the ER, she was incoherent, and she was starting to go into convulsions; and she was burning up with a terribly high temperature. The doctors diagnosed her as having necrotizing fascitis (spelled wrong, I know), or "flesh-eating disease", and she suffered horribly. Her death was awful, and...I saw her die, right in front of my very own eyes. She was seizing uncrontrollably, and nothing that they did for her was doing any good. She then started vomiting uncontrollably, vomiting up bloody mucus, and the infection was spreading through her body like wildfire. She ended up losing one of her legs and part of her other leg, and she also swollen to twice her normal size, to the point to where she was unrecognizable. Ever since that time, I have had unrelenting nightmares, and I have had to take on three different jobs just to try to keep ahead of all the medical (and other) bills.
But enough of that...please excuse me while I wipe my eyes...okay...Anyway, I read your books, and you wrote with such eloquence, conviction, and a matter of factness that hit the reader right between the eyes. After I read your books, I felt compelled to write to you..which is what I am doing right now.
I am so sorry you had to go through so much hardship on account of some of your children; but I AM glad that is all behind you now. Your children have gone through so much it is absolutely unbelievable! How did you manage to keep your sanity while undergoing all of these crises involving your kids? That is what I would like to know!
Your children seem to have settled into your family unit beautifully, and they have matured into lovely men and women! But I have yet one question that has nagged me since reading your books: WHY so many children? How do you EVER find time to work as a nurse, raise a superfamily, write books, AND help other families?? You must be related to SUPERWOMAN or something!!
Well, Louisiana, I will write again soon, I do hope to hear from you. Thank you again for addressing the true picture of international adoption, particularly the issues surrounding children with special needs! Take care, and keep me in your prayers; I could really use them nowadays!
Most sincerely,
Bartemus (Bart) Allen Simpson in Ohio (adoptive father to three boys, ages 6, 5, and 4 years).
Very nicely done once more, Karen. Thank you for sharing your stories, mon amie. Amour et paix. Régis
Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very
6/3/2005
Very nice story of the hardships. I like how you put that nail in there. I met a lady who cut herself on a can not thinking anything and now has all kinds of problems. kinda like arthritis. I'm not as medically knowledged as you but so much can come from the simplest things.
This father is a really sincere man but so too young.
Thanks for this wonderful story. xo
your stories really keep the story of all together yet branch out like life does. Bravo!!
The world needs compassionate people like Louisiana and the characters she interacts with--so beautifully written, I love these letters. And I love you, most of all. :)
The familiar lament of dual-career parents raising children is, "I just can't do it all." The Libra Solution provides an alternative - a more satisfying and sustainable work and life approach - to the overwrought modern day norm.
Let this coming of age story of a boy named Bean take you back to a simple time. Set in a small southern town in the 1960's, encircled by a river and gleaming white cotton fields.
A wicked Cajun Fairy named Robes Pierre entered the impenetrable Magical doll land of Sha Bebe. Queen Faustina, the ruler of the doll land, thought she had destroyed him, but he's back! Will the doll land survive his evil ways?
Friday, June 3, 2005, 3:50 p.m., E.D.T.~
