Louisiana writes about her feelings about two of her kids' upcoming hospitalizations. They are both going into the hospital today, Johnny for testing, and Ronee' for hip replacement surgery, in which she will have tomorrow morning.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005 (D-Day!)~
Dear Journal~
I am sorry if I haven't written in here for so long, but I have been unbelievably busy...between caring for an aging father, a husband, and a whole passel of children, and working full time, you can probably understand why I haven't written in here in such a very long time. But today I must write, to sort out my anxiety and my fears...today my son, Johnathon, and my daughter, Ronee', are going to be admitted into the hospital, and I hope and pray that all goes well...my son is facing a battery of tests, to see how his muscular dystrophy is progressing, and Ronee' is facing major surgery tomorrow morning. As you can imagine, I am very anxious.
Whenever any of my children go into the hospital, I am always on a heightened state of alert, and I guess this is only natural. I also guess it is because some of my children have had to go through so much, and I have nearly lost several of them (Johnny, Ronee', Roberto, Jodie, etc.) on several occasions, and I am so scared that they are going to die or somehow end up damaged lest something should happen to go wrong. I know I am probably being a big worrywart, but when I see my child in trouble, or see them hooked up to a whole myriad of tubes and machines, I can't help but to worry. It is not a pleasant experience AT all, and I wouldn't wish it on ANY mother (or father)! I have seen my child do very well one minute, adn then, when one least expects it...*WHAM* They are then in trouble, serious trouble, and they need help...FAST.
Going into the hospital is also highly stressful for the kids because they know that they are going to be poked and prodded by strangers in white or green uniforms, and they know that pain is oftentimes necessary in the testing process or during certain procedures. But I will be there as often as I can, to offer them moral support, and to try to comfort them during this difficult period. They also know that I will be allowed to stay with them, which is so often the case; and that is good because they NEED me during this scary time!
I will probably be at the hospital a good chunk of tomorrow, and for several hours tonight, after Johnny has some of his tests, and I hope that all goes well. Johnny and Ronee' have had to go through so much, and because of this, they have been forced to grow up a lot faster than their peers. I guess having a chronic illness or disability will do that to a child, but it is still a hard thing to accept, not only for the child, but for the entire family. I will also be calling my friends or emailing them, keeping them up to date on Johnny and Ronee', so I know I will be getting very little sleep during the next several days. I am not looking forward to it, but when your child is in the hospital, it is a fact of life, and I might as well get used to it and get through this as best as I possibly can without losing any of my sanity!
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005 (D-Day!)~
