Hildago Aguilar, who lives in Del Rio, Texas, with his six children, is coping as best as he can following the death of his wife, Diane, who had brain cancer. He responds to his friend's latest email.
Friday, June 17, 2005, 12:50 p.m., C.D.T.~
Dear Louisiana in Tennessee~
I am sitting here in what was Diane's bedroom, and tears flood my eyes as I look about me. I see her clothes still hanging in the closet, the shoes still lined up like sentinels on the floor, her perfumes and make-up on the dresser, and see her smiling face in a picture above the mirror (the picture was taken before she got sick with the brain cancer), and my eyes tear up immediately, so if you see any errors in this letter, you will know why. Please do forgive me. I miss her so much it isn't funny, and I still can't believe that she is gone!
The kids have been crying too, and poor Rosie and the littler ones still don't understand that their mommy is gone, and that they will never see her alive again. The kids are just walking around, as if in a daze, and their little faces show much pain and sadness, and it breaks my heart to see that. My own heart is breaking too as I think of Diane, and I wonder why it is she that had to die instead of ME. It just doesn't seem fair; she was only in her forties, and she died too, too young!
I don't know what is going to happen in the future...what if something should happen to ME or one of the kids? What do I (or they) do then??
I appreciate the beautiful heartfelt prayers and words of encouragement, and I appreciate the beautiful sympathy card and the flowers you sent to the funeral home. The funeral was attended by at least 200 of Diane's closest friends, and of course, her family (and my family, on my side) were all in attendance, and it was a beautiful service. But the kids and I cried during the service, and it felt good to have the familial support, and also the support of close and loving friends. I just don't understand how people who don't have anyone can get through something of this magnitude; that must be too horrible to imagine!
Now Diane is buried in the cemetary about five minutes from here, and we have already "visited" her several times this past week. We still are greatly upset, and I guess we will be for a very long time to come; but I am sure that God will take care of us and in time the pain should lessen somewhat. Still, it is hard, very hard, and it is all I can do to keep from crying myself or trying to be strong for the children. That is probably the hardest task of all.
Well, Louie, I will go now; I need to give Rosie her "lunch"; it's about time for me to hook her up to her feeding tube. I will write more later; I am also tearing up again, and it is hard for me to see what I am typing. Thank you again for your prayers and support; you are a true friend! God bless you!
(((HUGS))) and much love, tu amigo en Tejas, Hildago Aguilar. :( >tears<
Spoken Word
This CD will touch the deepest inner part of your humanness and spirit, you will never be the same after listening to the depths of struggle, the reality of life, the touching voice of truth. It will shock you, move you to tears. It w
Suspenseful and close to home, Rain of Deception 2 will leave you in Tears. Much like Part 1, this will shocking sequel will keep you on the edge of your fingertips.
Suspenseful and close to home, Rain of Deception 2 will leave you in Tears. Much like Part 1, this will shocking sequel will keep you on the edge of your fingertips.
Friday, June 17, 2005, 12:50 p.m., C.D.T.~
