Louisiana is concerned about her new friend in Mississippi after Audrey Jackson has mentioned that her husband has struck out at her when she doesn't have dinner on the table on time after he gets home from work.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005, 3:40 p.m., C.D.T.~
Dear Audrey~
Hello! Thank you so much for writing; it is good to hear from you again! It sounds like you have your hands full as well...three little ones as well as a husband who works hard to provide for y'all's needs. But when you mentioned that Jack has a bit of a temper and gets mad when supper isn't on the table, well, that really concerns me.
Does he abuse you in any way? If so, you don't need to be treated like that, and if your children are aware that daddy sometimes gets angry at mommy or hears you crying, then something is definitely not right here! You do need to provide for him and your kids, but nobody deserves to be hit or yelled at in such a cruel, mean way! That is abuse, and if he has done it before, he may do it again..and the next time it may be much worse. Being a RN, I have seen enough patients who were abused to know the signs and symptoms, and believe me, abuse is NOTHING to be taken lightly! If he IS hurting you physically, mentally, OR emotionally, then the best course of action is this: GET OUT. NOW. And take your kids with you! He can very easily harm you or the kids, and all too many times I have heard horror stories of men killing their wives or kids because "they went too far", and they snapped. Or look for a women's shelter; they are there for a reason, or better yet, have a restraining order put upon your husband if he tries to lash out at you again. There is NO call to put up with this violent behavior, and there is NO call for a man to treat you like a piece of garbage!
I will be putting you on the prayer chain at my church. I am a Christian, and I go to a Pentecostal style church, Christ Community Assembly of God; and whenever people are in need of prayer, we put them on our list, and we pray for them. Do you mind if I put your name down? If not, I will do so, but if so, I won't do it, especially if your husband is dead-set against it.
Do you ever get out, or do you primarily stay home with the kids? I am quite concerned about what you have told me about Jack, and I am sorry that you are having to go through this. It is hard enough being a parent to three little girls (particularly if the one is physically disabled), but it is even more so when your husband appears angry or abusive. That only makes the tensions worse. I would leave my husband in a nanosecond if he ever laid a hand on me, but I have been fortunate to have found a kind, loving man with a compassionate soul in Bill, and in the fourteen years we have been husband and wife, he has never struck me, no, not once. We love each other too much for him to stoop to that level, and we rely on communication to work out our problems. We let each other know what is going on in our lives, and we also talk about anything that is pressing on our minds, no matter how minute. We believe that communication is the sole reason behind why our marriage has worked out so well, even after adopting all these children. We also encourage our children to talk about innermost feelings and struggles, and we let them know that we are behind them all the way.
Now, Bill and I HAVE had our fights, but all couples do; no marriage is perfect. But he has never abused me or struck out at me, and for that I am very grateful. But whenever Bill is sick or is having a bad emotional flare, to where he is depressed or crying, I know to stay out of his way until he cools down, and I pray that he takes his medicine (which he usually does). He has bi-polar depression, and sometimes he can get very bad in his emotional state, very self-doubting and sad, and I worry so that he is going to somehow commit suicide; but thankfully he has never resorted to THAT extreme. Still, I DO worry about him, as he DOES have some emotional and mental issues from time to time. But most of the time he is okay!
It was really bad after his last back surgery (he's had three back surgeries and all failed to alleviate the pain in his spine) and when he was looking for work; but then Wal*Mart hired him on the spot, and he has been doing much, much better. He is happier now than he has been in a very long time, and this is the longest he has stuck with a job: he has now been with Wal*Mart going on two years and five months now. He is doing very well as a people greeter, and his job brings him much in the way of satisfaction, as does his Christian faith. Now, he may never run in the two-minute mile or compete in a marathon, but he still tries to keep on going, and he lives life to its very fullest.
Honey, why does Jack feel that way? Doesn't he know that being a mama is the hardest job of all? You have to clean, cook, take care of boo-boos, take care of the finances or bills, and so much more BESIDES take care of children! Being a mama is a 24-hour-a-day, seven-days-a-week, 12-months-a-year, 365 days a year job...with NO vacations or weekends off...and NO pay! I know how being a mama is; with fifty-two, soon to be fifty-three kids, I have PLENTY of experience being a mama! LOL Yet I wouldn't trade NONE of it for all the money in the world, and I love my kids too much to ever THINK of abandoning them! My kids are my LIFE (as is my nursing career and also my budding writing career), and I don't know anything else BUT being a mama (OR a nurse)! I just thank GOD I know how to take care of my kids whenever a crisis unexpectedly pops up, and I just thank GOD I have a loving husband who supports me and the kids! Too many women don't have it NEARLY as good as I do, and I must remember that not ALL women are as blessed as I am. But I WILL be your friend, and if you EVER need to talk to me about ANYTHING, I am as close to you as your computer. Remember that.
Again, Audrey, I will be praying hard for you. Please do write again, I will be waiting for your next letter!
God bless you always!
(((HUGS))) and love, your new Tennessee friend, Louie May Sandusky. :( >tears<
Rovella is a beautiful woman with a cold heart whom blames herself for an unfortunate old family secret that is literally ruining her life. This secret impedes a gorgeous woman from having happiness in her childhood, and throughout her life. Dark sec
Tuesday, July 12, 2005, 3:40 p.m., C.D.T.~
