Louisiana writes a letter of desperate need to her Saviour in her prayer journal.
Weds., July 13, 2005, 1:45 p.m., C.D.T.~
Dearest Heavenly Father~
This is Your Child, Louisiana Sandusky, in Tennessee. Right now I could use a touch from You. I have some needs pressing down on my heart, and I am coming to You now to see if You can help me.
First of all, Heavenly Father, I have a friend in Mississippi whom I suspect is being abused by her husband. I just got a letter from her the other day, and after I wrote back to her, she wrote back to me and told me that her husband doesn't treat her very well and that he has hit her on several occasions. Now he has smashed her computer, and I suspect he is screening her calls and is virtually keeping her a prisoner in her own home. I worry for her, as she has three small daughters, ages three, five, and seven, and the oldest is physically disabled with muscular dystrophy. I am scared that her husband may bring harm to Audrey or the daughters, and I wonder what is going to happen to them.
Secondly of all, I am worried about my other friend in California, Kendra Williams, who may be losing her home and her children because there are some neighbors who apparently have a problem with Kendra and her kids because of their disabilities. Now, Kendra is NOT a bad mother--she is a VERY good mother, in fact; I have seen her take care of her kids on several occasions--, but there are people who think otherwise, and they are trying to do everything in their power to break up this beautiful family up, and it hurts me more than You will ever know!
Thirdly of all, I have been working overtime, and I am mentally and physically spent; and I am afraid that I am heading towards a nervous breakdown. It seems that every little thing the kids do I am always getting onto them, and I am also frustrated with having to deal with an elderly father and step-mother; they aren't getting any younger (particularly my daddy), and he is getting rather cantankerous in his old age. I also have been dealing with a (currently sick) kid (Ronee'), and she is getting on my nerves with her smart, "know-it-all" attitude, and her unexpected health surprises. She just got out of the hospital this week from a bee sting, and even though she was in for one day, she still was in there, and it's like she has gone back to square one with her breathing. Now I am having to worry all over again about her stupid asthma and her breathing, and I am sick of reliving the nightmares of the past where we have had to call an ambulance on her! I am so scared that this is going to happen again, and I am sorry, but I can't deal with that right now.
I am also worried about Johnny, her brother. He has been doing so well with his seizures not occurring, and finally being under control, but he has muscular dystrophy, and I am waiting for the other shoe to drop and for new signs to appear, signs that his disease is worsening; and I can't deal with that either. Johnny is such a happy, sweet, very trusting little boy, and he has had the best year with his health in God only knows HOW long. I worry, too, that he is going to have problems with HIS breathing or that his heart is going to act up, and I don't kow what I would do if he was to have a heart attack or worse! Like his sister, Ronee', Johnny has been through so much with his health, and right now I am praying that God keeps him as healthy as He possibly can because I am scared what may happen in the future!
Another thing I am worried about is the ever-mounting bills. It seems that I can never have enough money to get the bills caught up, and I am scared that I will not be able to make the payments in time. I also am scared of the upcoming school season; school supplies are so darned expensive, and the kids go through clothes and shoes like nobody's business, and I am scared that I am going to go broke from all the money I have spent on their school clothes and supplies! I also worry about the ever rising cost of gas and am wondering if I am going to have to sell our vehicles just so I can have some extra cash!
I am also worried about my physical (and my mental) health...while you DID give me back my ability to walk WITHOUT crutches or a cane, I still have the arthritis pain to worry about (as well as my epilepsy, which sits like a ticking time bomb inside my brain), and my nerves have been frazzled to the point of exhaustion. I wonder if I have done the right thing in taking in the kids You brought to me, and I am wondering if I may have made un gros erreur in adopting so many kids. I either must be crazy or stupid, and I don't know if I can ever be the good parent that You want me to be to Your Children!
Well, God, I know this is a lot of needs, but this is what is in my heart; so I am sharing my needs with You now. I know this may be a lot to ask, but I am exhausted, and I don't know where else to turn--or WHO to turn TO. I am quickly appreoaching the breaking point, and I fear what of what may happen if I don't get help soon!
Thank You for listening to me. I need Your help. In Your Most Holy Name, I pray..amen and AMEN!
~Love, Your Child in need, Louisiana M. Sandusky. :( >tears<
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Weds., July 13, 2005, 1:45 p.m., C.D.T.~
