Dear Louie,

I just wanted to write and let you know you don’t have to worry about my girls. Deb has found a wonderful home for them with a couple who are eager to begin a family. I am sure they will treasure them and love them like I never have.

Since you will find out soon enough from Louisa Mason, I will go ahead and tell you. I don’t plan to stay in this world. I cannot live without my girls. I know I can’t, not even going to attempt it. My daughters where my whole world and now that is behind me, I have no reason to go on. I know everyone is going to call me a wimp and a quiter, but I really don’t care. Nothing matters to me now. I’ve lost my reason for living. When Susie left this afternoon, I completely lost it. In the end, the nurses had to sedate before I calmed down. When I awoke, I just felt empty and numb inside. Nothing matters anymore. I have asked the doctor to release me ahead of schedule. There is no reason for me to stay here. I am not going to get better and any thing I might recover will just be useless in the end.

Jack proved his point. He won. He showed me I would never live free of him. I can now remember him saying that to me over and over as I lay on the floor in a pool of my own blood. I might never live free of him but my girls can. They have a happy, fulfilling life. They can’t have that with me. Even if I were going to keep on living, I would never be free of my husband. He has me in his grasp for all my days on this earth. When he was released from jail Jack would come find me no matter how far I moved. I would never be free of him. He would just keep coming back and trying to kill me and one day he would succeed.

I will close now my dear friend. If you never hear from me again, you will know I am dead, either at my own hands or Jack’s. I know you will never understand what motivated this decision and I also know there is NOTHING I can do to help you understand. All I can say is I am sorry, even though I know it is not enough.

Audrey Jackson