Louisiana is very angry at her friend's decision to end her life after she has given up the girls for adoption, and she lets her know just how she feels about it.
Sarah, I am NOT mad at you in any way; this is just in response to your story! LOL I hope you liked what I did, but WHOA, MAMA, you sure surprised me with this one! LOL
July 20, 2005, 11:57 a.m., C.D.T.~
Dear Audrey~
You had better listen to me, and you had better listen good. I am writing to you today to tell you how disappointed at how things have turned out, and I am also very disappointed in your decision to end your life.
Audrey, what you are planning to do is a very tragic mistake. Suicide is NOT the answer. I have seen too many people commit suicide (or attempt to), and you are only going to end up taking the easy way out and destroy the lives of those who love and care for you the most (including myself)! Once you do it you can NOT come back, and you will NOT get another chance to try to make amends. Once you do it, that is IT. End of statement!
How many times have I told you that JACK is the one to blame for all that has happened, NOT you?? You were NOT a bad mother. You were just in a situation that was beyond your control, and now you are suffering because of a few bad decisions on your husband's part. HE is the root cause of all the problems that you have been having, NOT you!
Goddamnit, woman, when are you going to grow up and see what you are doing?? You are acting like a spoiled child who wants her own way, and if she doesn't get it, she is going to do all she can to rage back at all the ones who hurt her, and that is not the best course to take! I am tired of worrying myself sick about you and what is going to happen to your daughters! What are they going to say when they find out that their mother can't deal with their going away, so she is going to kill herself?? They are only going to become very angry and unmanagable, and they are going to have some severe emotional trauma (as if they already don't have enough now as it is!!)!
I won't try to change your mind, but I am very angry at you and extremely frustrated. I tried to offer you a helping hand when you needed it the most, and all you ended up doing was stabbing me in the back and push me away. If that is how you feel, I won't darken your email box anymore and I will just ease on out of your life. You are only thinking of yourself, and I am sorry, but I can't handle people who are selfish, self-centered, or so bent in their ways that nothing--or nobody--can change their minds! I tried to be a friend to you, and you used me, and I am SICK of it. You have dealt with the wrong person to get mad; and I am NOT going to take your pity any more! You took advantage of me, and now my health (and the relationship between myself, my husband, and my kids) have suffered tremendously. I will continue to pray for you, but I am at my wits' end with you, and I am NOT going to feel sorry for you if you end your life. You took the wrong road, dear, and YOUR family is going to have to learn to live with it, NOT me. I wasn't the one who had your kids taken away, and I did NOT say ANYTHING to have this happen to you! You brought this upon yourself in marrying such a goddamn loser of a husband, and you were so stupid and so blind to see what he was doing; and now your life is a shambles. YOU are the one who got yourself in this mess, NOT me, so don't EVEN go blaming me. But I AM going to say this: your kids now have a future (and I am very glad of it), but I am very disappointed in your decision, and I am very disappointed in your using me when all I wanted to be was a friend.
So on that note, goodbye, and I hope you can live with yourself before you decide to do something stupid like ending your life when you have so much to live for yet!! I just feel sorry for you, is all I can say!
Most sincerely,
Your (former) friend in Tennesee, Louisiana Sandusky. :( >tears<
O, boy. Louie fairly explodes off the page--frustration, anger and sadness are clearly evident in her words. Very well written, emotional bombshell--BRAVA!
Boom! Pain! Blackness!
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July 20, 2005, 11:57 a.m., C.D.T.~
