Louisiana writes in a journal (as directed by her psychiatrist), to help her deal with recent emotional upheavals in her life.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005, Journal Entry #1~
Dear Louisiana~
How I envy you, taking on so much responsibility, yet you manage to keep on going! Didn't I warn you earlier about how you were going to burn yourself out?? Now look at you...you are an emotional and physical wreck, and you brought this upon yourself by taking on too much!
Now you are taking a much needed break, and I certainly hope that you can work out your difficulties at home and with this "Audrey Jackson" that you have worried and fretted about this past week! You don't deserve to be feeling so bad, but you have always put the needs of others before yourself, and now you are paying for it. You are seeing a psychiatrist; it's NOT because you are crazy, you just have a lot on your mind, and you have to learn to deal with all of this excess "trash" that has piled up inside your mind for all these months (and possibly years).
Louie, you are a very good person; you have a very tender, compassionate spirit about you, and it is obvious by your "walk and talk" that you are a good woman of good Christian faith and upstanding in your convictions; but even you know that just because you accept Christ in your heart, that doesn't mean you don't have problems. I am glad you realize that; there's so many "Christian" people who don't act so "Christian like" in their activities, and it is no wonder people give Christians such a bad rap. I am glad that you DO rely on a Higher Power to get you through whatever you are facing, but you need to take care of yourself too. God can't do it all by Himself!
I wish I could "clone" myself to take some of the load off your little shoulders when you take care of your family. You have enough kids to start your own town, and you also have a husband and an elderly father and mother to worry about. You do so much for your church and for your neighbors and friends; it is no wonder so many people love you the way they do! You also help other families with adoption, and you have proven to be a very hard taskmaster at your job as charge nurse at a large metropolitan hospital; you do so much in 24 hours it is a MIRACLE that you keep on going the way you do! But it was inevitable that you were on the way to an emotional breakdown, and now that you have admitted that you have some emotional upheavals to work out, the trick now is to get better and learn to deal with all this excess built up stress that has so affected you and the ones that you love!
I am glad that you are seeing a reliable psychiatrist; she is one of the best in this area, and she knows her stuff when it comes to helping people in emotional need. That took courage, a lot of courage, on your part, and I am very proud of you. I just hope that this counseling will do you some good; heaven knows you deserve it!
As for the letter writing, you need to take a break from that too. You write to so many people you have fallen behind, and that has something to do with what you are facing too. Don't worry so much about others; just try to take care of LOUIE, and let time do the rest! I am sure that those people that you write to will understand if you don't answer right away. If they DO ask, just tell them NICELY that you are going through some personal problems, and you need to take a little break, but as soon as they have resolved themselves, you WILL write back to them! What do you think?? Let me know!
Well, Louie, I will go now. I will be expecting another entry in the coming days or weeks. Just remember this: you are only one person; take care of that person in the best possible way, and worry about LOUIE instead of worrying about everyone else! I will be wishing you all the best!
~Love, Louisiana.
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Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very
8/1/2005
Karen I really like this story alot!. The last two paragraphs there say so much. People do get taken advantage of sometimes in being kind and do do do-ing all the time for everyone to keep the smiles on everyone elses face as their insides are fading fast, strength self confidence and all the other positive things that keep one going ending up questioning our own selves and wondering why we can't do what we have done for many years all along. I really really like this one and I have to say Thank You for being so patient and understanding with me as I gather myself together. I like the fact too that you are bringing in the DR But I must admit from my own personal life that it is a shame that we must turn to a stranger to have someone listen to us but Thank Goodness they ARE THERE for those like Louie!
Wonderful Stories of truth Karen. I hope that the truths you speak of are only from your wonderful imagination and not spoken from your experiences. But the way you hit so right on I only want to say Peace be with you everyday!(c :)
Love Tracey 42xoox
This is an excellent emotional look into one's self, by way of writting in journal, I had to do this a couple of times when tradedy
occured in my family...wonderful job Karen!
An excellent write--we should all do this, reflect and change what is "wrong" in our lives and see what we can do to improve. A little self-analysis never hurt anyone. :) BRAVA!
Karen, this is a wonderful soliloquy! What a great idea: to offload to oneself in this way, and I'm pleased that Louisiana is so able to be honest with herself - and has a fair self-assessment and healthy sense of self-worth; that's worth a bucketful of other eog-boosters! Yep, guess it's one thing telling the head you're not Superwoman, but quite another getting the heart to believe it; not out of a sense of pride, either - just a "driven" instinct that goes deep enough to take complete control of a life, and which has perhaps stemmed from having been downtrodden to start with in life. And Louie is perfectionist too, right? Your writes on this topic will help many of us who, even in some small way, can relate to this kind of thing. Bless you and thank you for my welcome back - it's good to be home! :))
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Tuesday, July 26, 2005, Journal Entry #1~
