Louisiana counsels a couple in Skiatook, Oklahoma, who is interested in adopting a boy with serious special needs.
Saturday, August 13, 2005, 10:26 a.m., C.D.T.~
Dear Frederick and Wilma Gardner~
I got your letter yesterday, regarding your interest in adopting a little boy with Treacher-Collins syndrome, and I am happy to hear from you; but I am not an adoption counselor. While I DO help other families with adoption, I can only direct them to their respective agencies, and can tell them what the adoption process is all about and what it entails. Thank you so much about writing!
My name is Louisiana Sandusky, and I have been an adoptive parent for over 12 years now; the first two children I adopted were babies when I first got them; now they are about to turn thirteen years old come December, and they are beautiful kids. They have endured so much heartbreak in their young lives, but God has worked miracles in both their lives, and now they are blessing other people with their courage and talents. We have since added fifty (yes, you read right: FIFTY!!) children into our family, and they now range in age from one year on up to 23 1/2; and now I am a grandmother! *giggle* My kids come from all over the world: Vietnam, Korea, India, Malaysia, China, the Netherlands, France, Romania, Bosnia-Hergozovina, Sri Lanka, Germany, Iran, Africa (Kenya), Italy, Canada, Mexico, Guatemala, and the United States of America. We just added a child from Romania into our International Family, and earlier this year, we were blessed with two Miracles from Sri Lanka. We didn't expect to have fifty-plus kids, but God worked in His Mysterious Way, and...He brought us Arjun, Rani, and Janica into our lives!
Our kids have all sorts of disabilities: asthma, juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, heart problems, cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy, epilepsy, mental retardation, learning disabilities, spina bifida, post-polio syndrome, congenital amputation, dwarfism, visual and hearing disabilities, and more; but they are all still great kids who can teach a thing or two to the world about tolerance and acceptance of people who happen to be "different". They are all very tough in spirit, and they have already made a huge impact on all that they meet! But while they DO have their noticable (or subtile) differences, I still see them all as "perfect", and their wheelchairs/braces/crutches/hearing aids/glasses/artificial limbs/tracheotomies/short stature/facial differences do NOT matter to me in the least! I see them as beautiful, and I request to people that they do the same. They can teach the world so much, and they are all loving, beautiful kids with a strong faith in God and a stronger will to live in a world not geared for their "differences".
I CAN tell you that there is a little boy on a reservation in your state who may fill your need: he is two years old, and he has Treacher-Collins syndrome, which resulted in serious facial deformity and hearing deficits. He has a tracheotomy in order to breathe, but he can talk somewhat, and he is learning new signs each and every day. His name is Tyler, and he was placed in foster care after his parents abandoned him. He has been in foster care for about a year now, and nobody seems interested in adopting him. But when you mentioned that you were interested in obtaining a child with Treacher-Collins, I figured that little Tyler would be the perfect match for you--but you have to be willing to suction his trache on a regular basis and put up with occasional breathing crises (especially if he gets sick or has a cold), and you have to do everything in your power to protect him from germs that may cause him to get sick. He is somewhat fragile in terms of his immunity, and any little thing could prove to be dangerous to him. He has had over half a dozen surgeries already on his face and ears, and he has been through so much pain in his young life. I think Tyler would be perfect for you!
You will have to call the A.A.S.K. chapter in Oklahoma (there IS an agency there), and you will be able to get more information on Tyler than I have been able to get to you via this email; but this IS a start. I hope and pray that you can adopt him; I am sure Tyler would be much happier with a family than being in foster care! He is a very sad little boy, and I am sure that he would want nothing more than to have a mommy or daddy to tuck him in at night and tell him that he is loved and to kiss his tiny tears away when he is sad or scared!
Please do write back to me; I would love to hear that you started the proceedings on adopting Tyler, and I will be praying hard for you both (and for little Tyler)! God bless you, Wilma and Frederick, and thank you again for writing! All the best to you on your quest!
Most sincerely,
Louisiana M. Sandusky, Nashville, Tennessee (adoption advocate for A.A.S.K., Tennessee). :)
The compassion and love you display and as characterised by your "friends" just dissolves my heart into a puddle on the floor, Karen. To love is one thing - to be able to cope with the needs that you describe takes EXTRA SPECIAL people - and they are as PRECIOUS as the children you highlight in such a remarkable way - and the picture is divine! But, that's the difference between unconditional love and that which most of us experience from both within and without on a daily basis. I am no nurse, but I guess, if someone I loved suddenly became severely handicapped in the ways you mention, then feelings of protection and care would bolster that "already" love. To have these feelings in the first place is to love with the love of God. On your pages, you truly show me what real love is. TY and bless you and these wonderful characters! LOL Kate xx
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Saturday, August 13, 2005, 10:26 a.m., C.D.T.~
