Bill Sandusky, parent to 53 children (most with special needs), shares his innermost thoughts and feelings about his "Heaven-Sent Family".
I feel privileged--not to mention, tremendously blessed--in knowing that I and my wife of fourteen years, Louisiana, have made a difference in our children's lives; and we feel especially satisfied in taking in children who may not have otherwise had a future--or a LIFE, for that matter--had we not intervened.
Our children (who now range in age from 24 down to just one year of age) are growing each and every day, and they have, in their own special way, taught us waht it means to overcome the greatest of odds, what it means just to survive, the true meanings of love, acceptance, tolerance, and most of all, faith, hope, and PATIENCE. Our kids came to us from places like the continental United States of America, Canada, Africa, Russia, France, Italy, Germany, India, Vietnam, South Korea, Japan, the Netherlands, Romania, Bosnia-Hergozovina, Sri Lanka, Mexico, and Central America (Guatemala), most coming with a wide spectrum of disabilities ranging from the "hidden" (or barely noticeable) to severe, severe enough to incapacitate just about every aspect of their lives.
Now, most people are amazed whenever they read our story (my wife, Louisiana, has written two books about our Miracle Family, "A Family Made Out Of Miracles And Rainbows: The Sandusky Family Story--A True Story Of Love And International Adoption" and its sequel, "...And The Miracles Continue: The Sandusky Family Story, Continued"; we have also been featured in several newspaper articles and in magazines like "Exceptional Parent", "Adoptive Families", and "Parenting"), and we have also been featured on the news (mainly local). People often wonder how we can keep order among so many children (as of this writing, we have legally adopted 53 children, and we are soon to be taking in three more, a pair of brothers, ages 12 and 6 and their sister, who is nine, who were displaced from Hurricane Katrina; they are from New Orleans, Louisiana), and they wonder how we manage to take care of/feed/clothe so many children without losing our ever-loving minds. They wonder how we can do this without going broke. Now, it IS expensive to raise a family such as ours (VERY expensive, in fact, especially when the medical bills start piling in), but we have plenty of help (and support) from relatives (on both sides of the family), and also a large network of friends and acquaintances to help defer some of the expenses (or stress). We also rely on a very caring church family and also the Power and Grace of God, and God is why we have the children we do. He brought them to us after we lost our three children that had been born to us, and He has blessed us tenfold, maybe even TWENTYfold. We also have the children learn about responsibility and the pride of knowing that they can take care of their younger (or sicklier) brothers and sisters. We teach them that even though children like Jodie, Todd, or Roberto may have serious problems, they are still to be loved and taken care of, and we reward them if they do a very good job. We teach them about tolerance of those who are seriously disabled and also about racial issues, and we teach them that even though their brothers and sisters may look different from them, they are still their brothers and sisters, and they should learn to love them--and accept them for ALL their special differences. Through the Miracle of adoption, they are now grafted onto the Sandusky Family Tree, and nothing--the courts, other people, even the strongest hurricane winds--can EVER sever that bond that has developed. In addition, we teach them how to survive in a world that is NOT geared for their disabilities.
Sure, whenever we go anyplace, we are faced with questions (from both children and adults) about why our family is the way it is, and we are also subjected to stares or strange looks from people. It isn't every day when they see a family of our size roaming around the neighborhood, and it isn't every day when they see so many children with disabilities living under one roof. But we HAVE accepted them, and we are trying to teach society that even though they ARE disabled, they are CHILDREN first, and they should be seen for how they are INSIDE, NOT for how they are on the outside. This is why our kids know how to handle themselves in difficult situations because a good majority of them have had to grow up earlier than if they had NOT been born disabled, and they have had to deal with adults just about all their lives. Or they have seen (or experienced) things that NO child should EVER experience: the death of a parent (or BOTH parents), siblings, or whatnot, war, violence, serious sickness or injury, natural (or man-made) disasters, or things like rape, abuse, or molestation. They came to us emotionally or physically scarred and frightened, but we soon learned that even whatever they may endure, they are still kids, and eventually, even the most affected kid will soon start to heal if they get the help or the support that they need.
Now, sometimes people don't know how to act around our kids whenever they see them out in public, but that is okay. The kids are there to teach people, and they do an excellent job of spreading the messages of tolerance, peace, acceptance, and hope in the midst of tragedy and despair, ane whenever they meet people, the people they meet are often left feeling better about themselves--and the world, in general. Now, not ALL people are so accepting of us or our kids, and that is okay; but for the most part, people have been wonderful towards my wife, myself, and especially the kids, and it makes me being their parent all the more worthwhile.
I just wish that more people could experience the joys of adopting, particularly adopting a child of another race or a child with a disability or chronic illness. They will teach you so much, and they will make you a better person, both on the outside AND on the inside. I just wish I knew what I know now when we first started adopting; maybe we could have avoided some of the problems that we had down the road! But in the long run, it has made us better parents, and we are very well equipped in handling whatever life may throw our way, be it good OR bad.
I have written a chapter called I Am That, I Am in this inspirational compilation book by best-selling authors and wonderful people from all walks of life xox :-D (Its sister book is called Adventures In Manifesting - Success and Spirituality)
Note: Since my husband's cancer surgery 4/25/05, this book content has been integrated into the public speaking content for audiences interested in a sassy approach to personal and/or community awareness events. Another chapbook on intimate love poet
I feel privileged--not to mention, tremendously blessed--in knowing that I and my wife of fourteen years, Louisiana, have made a difference in our children's lives; and we feel especially satisfied in taking in children who may not have otherwise had a future--or a LIFE, for that matter--had we not intervened.
