A family in Georgia shares their uplifting story of adoption and parenting children with special needs.
My name is Donna Oliver, and we ("we" being my husband, Kip, and our ten children) live in Smyrna, Georgia. My husband is a biology teacher at the high school (and the part-time football coach whenever football season is in full swing), and I am a full-time mama and homeschool instructor. Kip and I have been married for fifteen years, and we are the proud parents of ten children (Iona Grace, Bethlehem Adonis, Josiah Timothy, Ishmael LaBonte', M'Bute' Ayala, Carson LaMonte', Patty LaTreece, Marisa Michelle, Dixon Tray, and Sugar Lyn'e'), who range in age from just one year on up to thirteen.
Our children are all adopted, mostly from Africa. We adopted our first two children (Iona and Bethlehem) when they were two years old, and they seem like they have been BORN to us because we have watched them grow from stumbly tots to beautiful young women on the verge of womanhood. After Iona and Bethlehem came our first son, Josiah, who was four when he came to our family, and soon after, a second son, Ishmael, came when he was five. Like their two older sisters, Ishmael and Josiah have grown into handsome young men with a flair for life. Next came M'Bute' (Em-BOO-tay), a shy butterfly of a child, and then brother-and-sister team Carson and Patty, our only non-African-born children. But then we "returned to Africa" several years ago when Marisa, Dixon, and Sugar came into our hearts, and now, as a result, we are now parenting ten children.
Now one thing you will immediately notice is the fact that all of our children are black while Kip and myself happen to be white. Yet we don't see their "blackness" so much as we see their personalities, their joie de vivre', or their quick minds. To us, they are our children, and we try to treat them as such. They address us as mom and dad, and they know that they have brothers and sisters to love (and to fight with).
Another thing you may notice is that some of the children are disabled. We have a son (Ishmael) in a wheelchair due to polio; but he gets around better and faster than someone on two good working legs: his disability has not slowed him down one bit, and it has only made him a better and stronger person. We also have a daughter (Bethlehem) who is deaf-mute and uses sign language to communicate, but her silent world has not stopped her any. She is aspiring to become a professional ballet dancer and has always enjoyed dancing. Another daughter and son (our brother and sister act) both have Down' s syndrome, but they are two of the sweetest, most polite kids you'd ever want to meet.
Marisa is HIV positive, but she has not shown any new symptoms of her illness in six months. She is currently on medication, and she knows she has to take it to help her. Dixon was born without legs, but he runs around on artificial ones (or on forearm crutches if he so chooses not to wear his legs), and we are trying to break him from using his crutches as weapons. Whenever little Dixon gets mad, he will hit a child with his crutches, sending the struck child to us in tears. As for Sugar, she has severe bronchial asthma and has had to make regular trips to the ER for her breathing. But she is still a very happy little baby who is babbling up a storm and is discovering the world about her. M'Bute', our eight-year-old, has obsessive-compulsive disorder and may be bipolar: she is a good, quiet child most of the time, but whenever she is enraged, she will turn violent and destructive, and she has had to go into a facility for problem children for treatment and/or a change in her medication dosage. She also may have schitzophrenia, but so far, the tests she has had have been "inconclusive", thus, adding to her (and our) frustration. (M'Bute' shows "paradoxyl" symptoms.)
Our children are our world: we try to be there for them, and we delight in teaching them. We did not want to expose them to the hidden dangers of public schooling, so we opted to homeschool them (well, I did, anyway!), and it has been nothing but a rewarding experience for all involved.
So now you know our little family.
My husband and myself are both members of a national adoption community..when we are not teaching, coaching, or involved fully with our kids (this is very rare), we go online and chat with other parents who have adopted children, either domestically or internationally; and we enjoy learning about other people who share a love for children. I have talked to people from as far away as Canada and Alaska, and as near as Atlanta, Georgia (the Murphys, who have adopted 23 children, most with special needs). We have friends in California, Georgia (of COURSE!), Kentucky, Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin, Florida, Louisiana, and our newest friends in Oklahoma and Tennessee. Some of the families are waiting for their first child or have just started their "adoption journey", but others (like the Murphys, the Terwilligers, and in particular, the Sanduskys from Tennessee) have been adopting children for years, and some of the families have gotten quite large and have over 20 kids (but the Sanduskys reign supreme: they have adopted a grand total of *53* children, most with special needs!!! YIKES!!!!).
God has indeed blessed us in bringing kids into our lives. We tried to have kids on our own, but we were unable to conceive; therefore, we turned to adoption, and we have NOT been in the least bit sorry! Our kids are our Little Miracles, and our lives have been enriched by them! They are the best group of kids we could have ever hoped for, and we intend to give them all we possibly can to make it in this world!
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Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very
11/4/2005
Karen, This story is absolutely uplifting and brings a smile. It is sad that there are so so many children that need homes but it truly nice that there are people out there that are willing to do all they can for the Special Children and those Children are the Most Special of all. I don't know if you got that email that went around just a bit ago about the Special Olympics and those that forgot about the race and helped one that fell down to get up and they all crossed the finish line together holding hands. Now that's how people should be. Special Children indeed! We all need to follow their lead and these stories of yours I sure hope people will see just what Angels they are. Special Angels sent to teach the mixed up world about LIFE, Inner Strength and Love and how it is to be lived. Thanks for all your wonderful stories. They are sad sometimes and others really bring a sigh of relief and happiness. but always really are special just like YOU! Love has no color!
Tracey 52 (c :)xoox
We are just more blessed with the introduction of yet another compassionate family who adopts children. The names you have chosen for these children required some research. The names you have assigned matches their ethnicity and cultural background. I am impressed, Karen Lynn! You are Global! Thanks for today's letter.
I don't know how you keep all of the million and two characters straight; just when I'm getting comfortable with remembering the Sandusky family, you introduce more fascinating people to get to know and love. BRAVA! for such inspiring writes and your never ending imagination and writing talent. I am very proud of the way you've grown as an author--congratulations!
(((HUGS))) and love, your number one fan (and twin), Karla.
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