Monday, November 7, 2005, Prescott, Arizona~

Dear Louisiana~

Hey! I am sorry for not writing in such a long time, but Karla, my daughter, has been very sick, and she is now in kidney failure. She is on dialysis, and she is not doing very well. It has been an emotional time for both of us, and I am scared that I am going to lose her!

This is your friend, Wyndi Storm Piestala. I have been wondering why I haven't heard from you...are you angry with me? Don't you want to be my friend? I have been very despressed lately, and with my husband's anniversary of his death approaching (and also the anniversary of my being injured in Iraq approaching as well), I have not been in a very good frame of mind lately. I also have been having a time with my prosthetic legs and I am getting frustrated at having other people helping me when I was so used to taking care of myself prior to my being injured. It also has been a struggle trying to take care of a sick daughter who doesn't want to help herself, and now her health has suffered, and I am at a loss as to what to do.

The last time I heard from you, Louie, you were getting ready to adopt a little girl from Romania somwhere. I think you said her name was Jannica or something, and you put her picture on the letter. She is really a cute little girl, and I am happy that you are getting another child. (I do believe she is there by now; if not, I hope you get her soon.) Are you making any more provisions to adopt? I wish I could adopt, but I already have enough trouble with just ONE child, and I think that I have failed as a mother to Karla because she is so very sick now, and there is the distinct possibility of losing her. I don't know what I would do if that were to happen; maybe I should end my life? I don't know, but I am desperate for some answers as to why so many bad things are happening to me. I wonder if the spirits are mad at me...

The weather has cooled off here, but there have still been some warm days on occasion. Today's temps have been in the lower 90's, but it is a lot better than the hundred and TEENS we had all summer! I am sitting here at Karla's bedside, waiting for her to finish her latest dialysis treatment, and she looks so sick and defeated it just breaks my heart! I wish there could be something for me to make her pain or sickness go away, but she has been doing so poorly, and I am scared of losing her!!

Please keep me in your prayers; pray to your Jesus about the situation I am facing! I am so upset I can't see or think straight, and I just haven't felt like writing because I have been to and from the hospital, and I am emotionally, mentally, and physically spent!!

~Love, your Native friend in Arizona, Wyndi Storm Piestala. :( >tears<