You are all probably wondering what has been going on, why I haven't written in here for so long. Well, I had been seriously ill, and because of it, I nearly died. My kidneys failed, and for a while, I had to go on dialysis. I am happy to say that I am FINALLY doing SOMEWHAT better, but I am still recovering, and I am still quite weak. Eventually, as time goes on, I may have to have a kidney transplant, but for now, I am feeling a lot like myself.

Sarah, my wife, has been faithful and has been taking good care of me and our daughter, and I have also had friends and colleagues stop by to support me in my time of need. This has bolstered my faith and my recovery considerably.

I also have been toying with the idea of having an operation that would allow me to void without the need of having a catheter in my bladder, and this is one of the main reasons why I had been having so many problems with my health. But for now, the prospect of a kidney transplant is on the back burner while I continue to recover and trying to regain my lost health.

I hate to admit this, but being home from work and not having to be on call for 24 hours a day IS nice. I don't miss the long hours, the sleepless nights, the high pressure demands of being responsible for human beings in need of surgery, trying to save a person who is crashing and burning out, or the paperwork involved. I have nearly forgotten what it was like to be able to be with my wife, Sarah, and our daughter, and I must admit that I really revel in seeing the joy in Sarah's face at church or even here at home. It is almost like getting to know my wife and daughter all over again, and I know that they are thrilled beyond words to have me home for a change. I also enjoy seeing little Emily discovering the world about her; to me that is priceless!

Because of my recent illness, I have spent a lot of time thinking about life and what would happen to my little family lest I were to get worse and/or die. I have been reading (and studying) the Word, and I have spent countless hours in prayer. I have been doing a lot of talking with my pastor from my church, Bruce Bilkey, and also our associate pastor, about what has happened to me and why, and we have also been celebrating the good blessings that God has given to me. I have been more forgiving to people who have wronged me over the years, and I have been paying attention to all the simple, little things in life and not let the weight of an uncertain world bog me down. I have been doing relaxation and deep breathing exercises, and it is absolutely amazing what a little prayer/exercise/love can do to a recovering body.

Yet with even all the plusses in my life, I still cannot forget the negatives. Like it or not, I am still a recovering kidney patient, and as I said earlier, I was on dialysis for a while. Now I am off it, but I still can go into kidney failure at any time, and I am still on medication, and I will have to be monitored by not only my regular practitioner, but also see a kidney specialist and a urologist. I will have to continue with my physical therapy sessions three times a week, and I am now using my wheelchair exclusively until I am strong enought to be able to use my Lofstrands. I am definitely on the road to wellness, but as you can see, I am not there as of yet.

Let's just say this: it will be a long while before I am able to return to work and/or use my Lofstrands. But I AM alive, and for that I can be extremely grateful for all that has happened to me, both good AND bad. I am very fortunate, indeed, and it is ONLY because of God's Grace that I am still here.

~Written by Charles W. (Wayne) Wright, M.D. on November 29, 2005.