Making my life better, at the same time fighting back, is new to me.
It will be a surprise to those who know me. After all, when I realized that I had never done these things for myself, I was flabberghasted.
I found myself physcially weak and mentally desperate after so much fighting.
I looked for anything that would help me, to the point I started looking into alternative medicines and methods of rehabilitation. Someone once told me about a method called Chi Kung, so in desperation I began attending them once a week.
Needless to say, the Chi Kung lessons improved my energy level. The guy who teaches Chi Kung gives us also kind of 'magical' things to do. The 'magical' things we do are similiar to what you would see magicians do for entertainment; for example, we were asked to juggle tennis balls and balance a stick with a plastic plate on top of it. He says that he is teaching these things for us in order to get better understanding of the essence of Chi Kung, which is the art of flowing with the energy of the universe.
When I do Chi Kung drills, I really feel at balance with the universe.
I feel like I helped the universal flow go in the right direction when I move my body and arms in synchronized movements. I also have a strong hope that the drills will eventually help us to overcome all the terrible things that happend to me and my children.
When I juggle the tennis balls, I laugh. I feel like a little girl who got permission to play with her favorite toy. I also feel that I am gaining the power which enables me to keep several things in the air. Nowadays, I have the ability to tackle several things at the same time.
I also feel I’ve regained my ability to entertain. Having the class watch me as I spin my plates in the air or toss my balls around while moving my body gently in a circle, is exhilerating. Being able to hold a conversation at the same time is quite an accomplishement.
I've come to enjoy these things very much, and have found I'm much more centered and comfortable with myself when I do them. I don't even mind that the teacher will leave the room from time to to time to laugh to himself. After all I don't look at it as him seeing a fat lady spinning, I look at it as a good deed for the day. After all, I helped him to laugh, and that makes me feel good, because I feel good inside with who I am.
Note: I would like to thank to our Qigong teacher for his dedication for teaching us. I greatly appreciate his knowledge. God bless him for his wonderful work. Without his dedicated teaching we couldn't improve our health.
