"When beggars die there are no comets seen. The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes."
William Shakespeare
REASON for this short story: It is something I need to say and I hope it comes out on paper (screen) the same as it has inside my head for ooooh so many years. Why this format? Why not? If you speak with another person only that person hears your words. If you speak to a large gathering only those present will hear, the same for television and radio. BUT if you write your words they are indelible for the ages and for all mankind.
There are many truisms in today’s world:
You use less then 10% of your brain’s capacity.
The brain never rest.
You can not get out of life, alive.
You begin dying the moment you are born.
All mammals and living things die.
When given chooses, it is better to kill then be killed.
My mother’s favorite - “I had druther see you dead and in your grave then….”
The body you come into this world is small, naked and being developed. When born the only organ that will not develop further are your eyes. Your body is delicate, vastly complicated, and vulnerable as most anything can cause harm to it. It is one reason Nature and God encased our brain with thick bone. Even as careful as the designer of our body was it can and does still get hurt; A fall; shaking; poison; drowning; obesity, bulimia, sugar, fats, etc… You get the idea.
Noise is bad for the ears but that is their function.
Some food is bad for you but we need substance to live.
Sex is bad, but only if you get caught or a rain coat is not used with strangers.
Anything you enjoy… is either bad for you or against the law.
To complicate this living process we have to factor in The Eight Deadly Diseases: Heart Disease, Cancer, Stroke, Diabetes, Osteoporosis, ALS, and Arthritis and of course Alzheimer's.
Then just as things couldn’t get any worse they throw in problems called common denominators for major medical problems; unstable molecules; the high homocysteine level; mineral deficiency; bad toxins; parasitic infections such as worms, fungus, bad bacteria. Anything in our body such as a bad microorganism. And then, we have damage inadvertently caused by medications, surgical procedure, a side effect of an outpatient surgery, basically a medical mistake. If we look at drug side effects individually, every year there are showing thousands die of adverse drug reactions. Actually the group of drugs used to treat arthritis is now the 15th cause of death in the US.
Have you ever wondered why they say doctors Practice Medicine?
I only have this one life so I am not really concerned with 1 thru 15 or all the things that are bad for me. There is only ONE out there for me – trouble is I don’t know just what that ONE is.
They told me in Vietnam if I could hear the bullet it would not harm me. It is the one(s) you don’t hear or the mortar or the rocket you don’t hear that is of concern.
What cause of death do I fear? Burning or being buried alive. ALL forms of death are unacceptable but those two are the ones I fear most.
I have killed the enemy but it was quick and I hope only briefly painful.
I recently saw the 2004 Clint Eastwood movie, Million Dollar Baby. One of his last lines in the movie struck me as most profound. As Hillary Swank, in her rehab bed lay paralyzed and with absolutely NO hope of any kind of life other then life support he said, “I’m going to unplug your oxygen and you will go to sleep.” He did and she did. He then took a full syringe of adrenaline and as he gave it to her in her IV he said, “…now you will stay asleep.” I cried. I am crying now just remembering the scene and my feelings toward death and dying.
Do you know where feelings originate? Why you blink your eyes, move a finger, lift an arm, feel an organism, know love, hate, and how you control bodily function?
I have held many in my arms as they passed from this life and in most cases appeared peaceful. No pain, no discomfort. One minute they are here and the next all the bodily systems shut down and they no longer are a living being. They are dead. Do you have any idea how many systems it takes to operate your body and how they all depend on each other? There is some redundancy built into our bodies, but even extra parts wear out. All humans come with a few extra parts and some parts you really don’t need, but on the whole this most complicated pile of chemicals we call a body will one day, die. If you are about to stay asleep forever how do you do it gracefully and with dignity?
Control! With all these vast and complicated systems we call a body do you have any idea how it is controlled? Your bone encased 1400 gram (just a bit over 3 pound) brain is your control room, your Captain Central, the place where ALL decisions are made and carried out. What tells a finger to move? When a germ is encountered, what tells the body how to protect itself? When you burn a finger, what tells the body it has sudden pain and what to do about it? People can and do “Will” their body to get better or to give up and know when it is time even to die. Your brain can do wondrous things as it can cure or kill you. When the time for death is near, how do you think your systems know to shut down? Yep. Your brain tells them.
How do I know all this?
Let’s digress for just a moment to the living by saying, if you factor in accidents such as: auto, doctors, clumsiness, not paying attention or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time, chances of longevity is decreased.
Hunger, biblical and modern day diseases, famine and drugs affect hundreds of thousands from around our globe. Not to mention natural disasters. Tornados always seek out Mobil homes and dismember a few folks that have no basement or safe room. Then you have an earthquake that can and have taken the lives of many tens-of-thousands in less then a dozen heart beats or in the blink of an eye. Don’t forget no one is really safe from these disasters. You can be on a vacation, tanning, drinking and enjoying life when an earthquake thousands of miles away can not only sweep you out to sea in Tsunamis.
Have you read the stories about Lois and Frank?
I will not go into ALL the stories but their last episode is interesting and ties to this theme.
“How do I tell friends and family what is going on inside my head?” The statement was not a conscience though but just words and feelings floating around inside Lois’s head. Floating is not a good words as she heard herself say to no one in particular. “Screaming, demanding, yelling all are better adjectives.” Lois smiled to herself but it was not your everyday happy smile. Lois is in-between major emotional viewpoints and some say emotional instability.
The Heavens are putting on a grand show this evening. Jagged ribbons of highly charged electricity race and dart at the speed of light across the black threading sky creating a night of wonderment. Down, across, up, across resembling a teen-ager with raging hormones or an addict between fixes. Lighting reflections and rolling thunder are dancing around Lois’s bedroom but she didn’t notice. She was lying on her back on top of all bed covers, eyes open as her brain was dancing around others and in other places.
The stormy night intensified to the point the room was constantly bright as day-time at high noon. It was a light show beyond all others. It was the kind of show she didn’t want or need this evening. Frank was dead and in the ground. This evening not even four double Manhattans could help the total emptiness in her gut.
Lois had a few gold fish as a child but they all eventually learned to float on their backs. A Doberman puppy she had raised until it was four year old died when a tree fell on it during a summer soaking rain and wind storm. That was an act of God. Her grandparents had all passed away, but that was expected as they were old. They were well into their sixties. Old.
The world outside had not changed and that bothered her. Her world has changed, drastically and she wanted others to change – and now. It wasn’t fair. Life isn’t fair but life had never been this close before. Lois knew about life but she had not lived it yet. Not in her thirty-five years had she been made to see that all living things die. Maybe not all will die today, but someday they will. Nature said so and that is how Nature designed all living things. Rocks were safe from this fate but then they had to worry about being crushed, broken are made into molten lava. A few become diamonds but most just turn into coal.
“Hello.” Lois answered the phone with a sullen voice not unlike normal, but not really normal either.
“Lois. Hi…. It’s Maryyyyy.”
It was the voice only a mother could love and now was not the time to carry on any kind of conversation with the bubbly Maryyyyyy, but she tried.
“Hi . Nice to hear from you. Are you home?” Lois’s tongue was already getting thick and she knew it would only get thicker the longer she lied. This was not going well and Lois knew it but was reluctant to do otherwise so she continued pretending to be interested in the conversation.
Isn’t that what everyone does?
There was no way Lois could tell Mary or anyone else how she felt, what was going on in her head and gut. How could she explain to others something she didn’t have a clue about? Shopping she could handle, love, sex and family were OK also but life and death subjects give her a hard time thinking about. Everything yesterday that was normal was a blur today. Yesterday things were normal. Now normal is out the window and reality is here. Is there a Heaven? A hell? Is there a God? A Lucifer? Is there such a thing as Eternal Life? Why did Frank have to die? I needed him… her head was saying but somewhere in her head was that little voice saying, …or did I? Now Lois has to face some sort of reality that only others had to do before. Death only happens to others. Accidents only happen to others. Bad things only happen to others and the ones you read about or the evening news tells you about.
Lois turned into a local news channel and listened. She was not mentioned.
She then switched to National news and again she was not mentioned.
No need to listen to the international news because if she was mentioned then she had more problems then she first thought and that she did not want to think about. This is hard.
“Do you feel like talking about it?” Mary tried.
Lois’s voice was barely audible as she whispered, “Yes… no… maybe… I don’t know.”
Mary took that as a blank check and began: “What have you heard from the authorities?”
This looked to be a long afternoon for Lois but she sipped her Cherry flavored Manhattan, crossed her long legs her head was saying, it could be worse Lois… go along with her. About that time her mouth said, “Not much.” They have no suspects, no motive, and nothing as far as I can tell. They are kinda just doing routine investigating for now. They told me not to worry and they would get in touch if they needed me.”
Conversation was tight and increasingly difficult with each passing minutes until Lois finally excused herself. Mary went along with the excuse up to a point before saying, “Frank just up and died for no reason? Surely the cops know something or maybe suspect something, right?”
Lois didn’t answer as she cradled her phone.
Chief Light, grand master of his Free Mason lodge and Chief of police in charge of the case and as of today still had no hard evidence if Lois or anyone else had caused Frank to die. Lots of suspicion but thinking and proving are two different bed-fellows “It’s an open case.” He has said many times to the press. “At this time we have no evidence to suspect anything of Mr. Steele’s death other then by natural causes.”
In private, Chief Light was overheard in a conversation with his deputy saying: “How do you catch a killer who can murder from a distance without leaving a trace? There were no ordinary clues at the scene, but there may be other information available. Light’s underling that most referred to as simply "L" thinks he can solve this puzzle. In only one day he has come up with some ingenious ways of narrowing down the search. Adding to the story's complexity, Light believes that he is doing a good thing. He feels that he has been given this opportunity so he can make the world a better place by eliminating those who are truly evil. This vigilantism is reminiscent of the comic The Punisher. Light's father is a policeman so perhaps he wants to prove he can deal with criminals more effectively than his father.
Ryuk, the Shinigami, follows L around and talks to him, but only L can see him. Over time, Light learns from Ryuk that the Death Note is more complicated than it seems. Ryuk looks kind of like a very tall goth clown, with sharp teeth and spiky hair. The trouble his Death Note causes in the human world seems to amuse him, but he refuses to take L's side. Takeshi Obata, the artist who also created Hikaru no Go, does a great job of putting this strikingly odd character into what is otherwise a very realistic world. Because of the overall realism, unlike most manga Death Notes would probably work well as a live-action movie, but this is no movie. It’s real. It’s life and it’s a death.
Lois killed Frank because she believed him to be wasting his life. He was doing what he wanted, when he wanted and with whom, he wanted. He was mid-thirties, had a white-collar job but no direction. When he married his child-hood sweetheart in his mid-twenties Lois did not want to start a family so he volunteered to be sterilized (vasectomy). It was non-reversible. Lois loved Frank deeply with few reservations but as each birthday passed and her bio-clock was ticking the womanly urge was stronger then the laws of the land and God’s law. Frank is a writer of fiction, mostly horror. He is always killing off people so Lois uses one of his techniques to do him in….. He wrote in his first novel, January’s Heat, “…Dark Yagami has a magic notebook, originally the property of a Shinigami, or death god If Dark writes someone's name in the book, that person will die. It sounded like a clever story idea….”
How did Lois kill Frank? There are over six billion humans on this Earth so that makes the number six-billion ways to kill.
The one way that doesn’t readily come to mind is: She wrote his name in a secret place and wished him to pass from this life, and he did. The next time someone you know passes away and there is no apparent reason, look in secret places to verify if their name is written there.
Life expectancy has increased from 35 years of two-hundred years ago to close to eighty in the early 21st century… that is… if no one writes your name in a secret place.
Enjoy the day as it could very well be your last on this Earth.
With all this death and dying stuff and before I close I have one final word. We know for a fact we will all someday die. So what do friends or family do with the dead body?
Do not put the body I left behind in the ground. Cremate my dead body. I do not want to lie for years rotting and be food for things that live in the earth. God will take care of my eternal soul but I do not desire to be food for any of His earthly creatures.
IF you put me in the ground, surely some dark and stormy night a family of worms will make a dinner of me, I will become their energy for a few hours then turned into worm poop. No thank you.
Dear Harold: This story of yours has pretty much covered ALL the negative aspects of LIFE--as humans on earth. You presented many issues we all face and consider--especially DEATH! In all of your writing--right to the end--you never give any reason for HOPE in this life, or a life here-after. As a Vietnam veteran myself, I have also experienced similar events as you have. And, many of the thoughts you expressed here, I have also contemplated. However! Unlike you--and many others of the billions in the world--I have HOPE for a much better life in the future. One without ALL the many woes and sorrows of this one. DEATH is just an unfortunate event along the way [journey]--but by no means the END of our life. God's words assures us of this: 1st Corinthians [verses-50-57] Christ Jesus gives us the victory over DEATH by his sacrifice for our sinful condition. Faith in him will give us peace--now and into the far future.
Rovella is a beautiful woman with a cold heart whom blames herself for an unfortunate old family secret that is literally ruining her life. This secret impedes a gorgeous woman from having happiness in her childhood, and throughout her life. Dark sec
A page-turning novel about a relationship between best friends that is interrupted because of betrayal , deceit, sexual promiscuity and pregnancy happens!
A page-turning novel about a relationship between best friends that is interrupted because of betrayal , deceit, sexual promiscuity and pregnancy happens!
