Maria Jones, still uncertain about her future, writes to her friend in Tennessee after Louisiana has emailed her.
Monday, January 23, 2006, 3:42 p.m., C.S.T.~
Dear Louisiana Mayrah~
Thank you for your letter of the other day. It was nice to have heard from you. But I am not feeling good today. I have a headache, and I'm afraid it is a bad one. I have been in bed all day, just woke up a while ago, and I am feeling horrid. Please keep me in your stead. I do have cancer of the brain; I had my MRI the day I emailed you, and the results came back on Friday. The news wasn't good. As you can imagine, I cried. I have been depressed since, and I wonder what is going to happen to me--let alone to my husband and my sons.
i go into the hospital on Wednesday for the start of my treatment, and to tell you the truth, I am scared to death. I am scared of losing my hair, and I have heard too many horror stories about the side-effects from the chemotherapy treatments, and I don't think it is something that I can endure. I don't know how long I will be in the hospital, but I do know that I am frightened. Very much so!
I also have been throwing up, and I can't keep much of anything down, not even water. If I don't feel any better in a few hours, I just may end up going to the ER for a shot or SOMETHING to rid myself of this horrendous nausea!
I am glad that you are going on that cruise to Alaska. Some people seem to have it made. It seems that ever since the hurricane, I have done nothing but struggle, and just when I think I am back on my feet, here comes this g.d. cancer and the fear of what is to transpire! I have been doing so much crying it's a wonder my innards aren't all mildewy! LOL I wish I could go on a cruise to ANYWHERE, but my husband just isn't the cruising type of person, if you know what I mean. He hates being on the water, and he thinks that cruises are a waste of time and are only for old people (his words, NOT mine!). He is much happier on land, and he would much rather be doing something like playing golf or football or baseball with the kids than to spend time on a boat asea! I do hope that WHEN you go to Alaska, you will have a wonderful time!
My kitty, "Furball", is here with me; she is lying at the foot of the bed, just purring her little heart out. I am so happy she is back in my life; the months without my husband and my boys (and without my kitty) were among the worst possible ones! I don't know why certain people have to endure so much pain while others seem to have it made in the shade. I have been through so much hell these past several months I have seemed to forgot what it is like to smile or laugh. Now I was on the verge of doing just that when the Big C (cancer) hit, and now I am crying again, and I wonder if God EVEN loves me. He must NOT because of all the hell I have had to endure!
Well, I will go for now; I am crying again. It seems that is all I have done since that damned ol' hurricane, and now cancer is staring at me with its ugly face, and I just don't know what to do anymore. I have tried to pray, but I am tired, and I am just about ready to give up on life!
(((HUGS))) and love, your (dejected) friend, Maria Jones in Texas. :( >tears<
The people who "seem to have it made in the shade" went through Hell to get the shade. It starts with setting goals and adhering to them daily. Sacrifices have to be made and priorites set. Thanks for the letter today, Karen Lynn.
soooo sad and painful to read how some have to suffer so much.I know how she feels that's for sure. You know too, which is why you can write so powerfully about it! Excellent work Karen!
Eileen
Reviewed by P. Michaels
1/23/2006
Karen, this is one that I can identify with and I know others who can identify with this, too. There are times when we wish that we could just sit back and enjoy life for awhile. However, it seems that there is no end to trouble. Guess we are suppose to trust that God knows what best for us. This is a letter that tells how most of us feel when we are going through hard times. Even those who seem to have charmed lives will face trials, too.
Such a heartbreaking letter! So very sad, the poor thing. But, it is still an excellent piece of your work, no doubt!!!
Love and many Hugs, Birgit and Roger
Yes some people have all the luck while others have nothing but misery. It's at these moments that we should offer our suffering up to God as He did on the cross. It will benefit others.
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