Sunday, Feb. 19, 2006, Alaska Time, Barrow, Alaska (should be BRRRRow, Alaska; it's COLLLLLLLLLLLD outside! LOL)~

Dear Journal~

I am sitting here, trying to wake up. I don't know why I woke up early; maybe it was one of the dogs outside, barking. Hopefully there isn't a nanuq about---I don't like nanuqs; they terrify me! I will have to get in touch with my hunter friend, Quuilaq, to see if he can find him---

I heard from my friend in Tennessee, Louisiana Sandusky; seems that she wants to make amends. I hope so, but I still think her world is too busy, too confusing for my simple ways. I am happiest at being Inuk; it's all I have ever known. I don't understand why the Dog Children are so bent on destroying what was rightfully OURS in the first place or changing our People! I don't think it is right! As much as I hate to say this, Louisiana Sandusky is like one of them, and it saddens me. I guess this is why we drifted apart.

I can't write her off completely, though: I have feelings for her, I love her family, and I love how she has been there for me when Mother and Father both crossed to the other side. Now Mother and Father dance among the Northern Lights; whenever I see the Aurora, I smile because I know that Mother and Father are there, as are the spirits of my other Ancestors, and I know that they are protecting me from harm.

It is cooooooooooooooooooooooooooold here. Temperatures in the subzeros, some days being as cold as -30 below--or even colder than THAT. This is when I break out my extra parkas, my heavy-duty gloves, my fur-lined mittens, my fur-lined underclothes that go underNEATH my outermost parka, my fur-lined pants, AND my fur-lined mukluks. The ONLY parts exposed on me when I go out are my eyes and my nose! Barrow, Alaska, IS brutal in the winter, but it's what I am used to, and I can't handle hot weather (to me "hot" is anything warmer than 60 degrees, like in the summer). I'd MUCH rather be cold than hot! :)

Hot weather also aggravates my illnesses. I have fibromyalgia (it's like having arthritis of the muscles; it is NOT fun!), and I also have multiple sclerosis, and it is hard for me to get around sometimes. I use forearm crutches for walking, and trying to navigate on slippery surfaces is quite a daunting task. I HAVE fallen before (that does NOT sit well with my fibromyalgia! OW!). This is why I prefer cold weather to hot--and the colder, the BETTER I can handle it! :)

I see my family from time to time; they come over to check on me. They know that I am not well, so they worry about me. I am glad they live close by; in case I should happen to have any problems, they can get me to the shaman or to the regular doctor if I happen to be in town. They also get me my groceries when I am low, and they get my mail, which I appreciate very much.

I will go now; I am hurting in my shoulders and my neck. I also am hurting in my legs and my hips. I will have to lie down now. Take care, and may the Great Spirit pour his blessings on you! I will be back later!

~Love, Sikik Eegeesiak.