Saturday, March 25, 2006, 7:00 p.m., C.S.T.~

Dear Journal~

I am sorry if I haven't written in here in a while, but I haven't really felt like it. I have had too many bad things happen to me, and I am not in the best of spirits right now.

I had tests done on Wednesday, and it was quite a traumatic experience for me. I then found out just a few days ago that my disease is getting worse, and it's gotten me more than a little scared. I know that my disease is progrsssing, and that means that I am dying. I don't want to die; I am only a kid, and I don't want to think about something like dying! I have too much living left to do, and there is still so much I haven't done! I don't want to die; I want to go to my senior prom, I want to graduate from high school, I want to learn to drive a car, and I want to get married and have a family of my own! I want to see my parents grow old, and I want to see my brothers and sisters become big!

I also found out that my girlfriend in California, Rebekkah Cohen, lost her leg due to an infection; she is now out of the hospital, and she is recovering from her ordeal. I wish my attitude was as good as hers is; my attitude isn't the best right now, and I have been very depressed.

I last wrote in here eight days ago, and I was writing about St. Paddy's Day. We went to downtown Nashville to see the St. Paddy's Day parade. We went to listen to some Irish music and eat Irish food. We saw my sister Ronee' perform, and of course, she got the crowd all excited with her Cajun-country music.

The weather today was nice; it was sunny, and it was in the fifties. I went outside to see Jose', but he wasn't home. I came back, and I went inside, where I played with my video games and read some books. I was a bit mad because I wanted to see Jose', and I wanted to hang around with him. He went to his cousin's house for the weekend; his cousin's mother is in the hospital, where she is very sick. I hope she gets better soon! I know Jose's cousin is very worried about his mother! I would be too if that was my mother!

We have started working on our play for the Easter Cantata. I am not actually a part of the play, but I am going to be doing sign language, so the deaf members of our congregation can follow along with the program and know what is going on. I will also be signing along with the songs. The Easter Cantata is always a big deal at Christ Community Assembly of God; it always attracts extra people, and the church is full to the gills with congregation members, friends, and family members. I always enjoy the Easter Cantata; I love the music, and I love the true meaning of the Easter season: the Resurection of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Well, I am going to go; have to eat supper. I am going to then take a bath and go to bed, so I can get enough sleep for tomorrow. Tomorrow is a big day; we go out to eat for breakfast, then we go to church, and we go out afterwards (or have dinner-on-the-grounds). We talk and socialize, and then we have church again in the evening.

Take care, and God bless!

~Love, Johnny. :) (trying to smile through the pain and tears)