Further Reflections on Our Lady’s Visit: A Mystic’s Journal Entry September 8, 2006

Friday, September 8

After midnight the other night, I went into the back garden and cried ... Like a small child. It was the first time I have been outside in many weeks, either the bees or the breathing has prevented it - and the colors of the impatiens in their hanging baskets, in the outside light was almost too much Beauty - I have missed Beauty so very much these past months ...

Afterwards my breathing improved.

I spoke to Christ’s statue in the back garden inwardly as I cried. Even as I was crying I noticed that my throat and heart ached in the same terrible way as it did from the poison of the bee sting, as my heart and breathing began to stop that day in early July. Grief: the news of my mother’s coming death, Igor’s death ... Other events that had hurt the mind and heart ... As I cried so many tears, I saw that all the fluids that were blocking my breathing were now pouring from me, outwards instead of inwards. Whereas earlier those tears had poured back inside myself, to be trapped in my physical body, in the airways ...

To let go of the thoughts and feelings, to express them outwardly and then let them go. Such a simple thought and sentence - yet not always so easy to do. Our Lady’s statue has often cried bitter tears, in Naju, Korea - and in other places around the world at various times in the history of the world. I clairvoyantly often see Her statue at the Church cry tears that others cannot see. Our Lord cried as well, while He was on earth, and in more than one account written by His disciples.

I must try harder to find my tears, to let the Heart break open. For if we grieve simply and fully and innocently, and with Trust - the Heart breaks opens and It’s Love pours over the world ...