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Secret's A Little Girl Kept. (my true story) by alejapoet@aol.com Bennett
Friday, October 6, 2006
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
It still saddens me to know that my natural parents gave My siblings and I up. They left us all abandoned-alone. For 37 years we're still separated just uknown to each other.
After 37 years my terrible childhood still haunts me every now and then.
I often wonder about my siblings, being separated from infancy then later adopted. Im hoping that they didn't suffer as I did.
I pray to see my mother-father and siblings face. If it weren't for my adopted parent's mistreating me then my life would've been accomplished sooner than now. They carry on as if I've never existed in their lives.
She really enjoyed forcing me to eat those hot sauce sandwiches with no water to drink-just the burning sensations that were surrounding my entire little tongue as a youth.
I never had a key to the house or a mailbox key-I was just a visiting stranger with a check that came in the mail each month for them to spend.
With her long foot on my neck made me to believe that she was going to kill me, then after that a hard kick to the sharp edge of the living room glass table which caused my little side to hurt for weeks.
It made me sick to my stomach to eat all the eggs that I had vomitted in my breakfast plate along with the bloody lips by my adopted father every Saturday morning.
My bedroom was my outside and for a long time my meals were given on the floor.
The refrigerator was off limits to me.
No candy or sweets to eat.
No phone calls or they would be recorded by my adopted father.
The hot comb gave my head and edges so many scabs from the burns caused by my adopted mother.
Sitting in corners was the way of life for me as a child and whatever someone bought me from the store was eaten by them too.
They had to smack the smile off my face as soon as it got there for they wanted me to have no happiness as a child.
Singing on the choir along with the other activities in the church keot me busy-alive-it gave me a reason for living.
The pills that I took didn't kill me at fifteen
The car that I ran in front of didn't kill me neither.
When I choked myself until I changed colors that didn't kill me neither.
The raw pork n beans out of the can didn't kill me neither.
Being admitted to Kings County Hospital at fifteen didn't help me because they sent me right back to the abuse. That was the reason that I was trying to end my life.
Oh I am so sorry you went through all this. I am also adopted and was abused but sounds like what you went through was different wont say worse cause any kind of abuse is bad my heart goes out to you. I also went through AA seems we have a lot in common. I ended up finding my birth mother in 2005 she also went to AA. It has been a blessing. You touched my heart thanks for sharing your story I know it is not easy. Writing and sharing is healing even though it is painful it is also healing. Thanks for sharing your story it will help many people.
Sending Hugs your way.
Angela
A very well written - infact very well expressed story! If you write what you feel, you experience, the reality, the truth... it is sure going to touch the hearts, as it did to me...
Keep it up, keep writing...
wow iam sorry to know those dredful things happened to you but iam happy that you feel comfortable with shareing and speaking out u are a very courageous and i must say remarkable woman
thanks for shareing love happiness and peace to you
It is never an easy thing to have one's life as an open book for all to see. The only way we can know - not feel, we can never do this - someone else's pain is for the sufferer to wear their heart on his or her sleeve. By doing so, a potentially therapuetic benefit is imparted to someone else in the same sad situation.
Aleja, I have been reading some of what you've written and my heart pours out to you and I am sorry for what you have had to go through.
Your friend,
Rose
Reviewed by ~ Holly Harbridge
10/27/2006
I pray that from here on in, you're only lifted up! Encouraged, the way we as human beings are supposed to be. God love you girl! *hugs*
Aleja we all suffer sometimes because of our parents and other family members. Guess what, it's seven of us. My dad was a dead beat father. Never did a thing for none of us, when he died he left all his land and wealth to one of my cousins, crazy uh. Anyway I wrote this poem about it.
I son of dead beat daddy
who didn't father sturdy.
Left all his land to a cousin
knowing he had children
that equal almost a dozen.
I tried to give dad the benefit of the doubt
until the contents of the will came out.
Again I feel all screwed,
but I refuse to let my hate be renewed.
Bravo!You are Christ's child and you know what it is to be loved by Him and you will do more than survive, you'll help many to face what they couldn't before...God Bless You from Top of Your Head to the soles of your feet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Grace,Peace,&Love,
Sharon
I commend your fortitude and fearlessness in posting this sobering story of your childhood. You have survived, and have become a mouthpiece to share with others what many never speak about.
I pray many will find healing in your courage and strength.
Aleja, God bless you. I cannot imagine a life like this, but that you survived to tell the horror and rise above it is a testimony to your faith and inner strength as well as a beacon of hope to others that such a life can be overcome. It's a blessing that you are able to share your words and your book. Your adoptive parents were monsters. I don't understand what drives people to commit such atrocities or than inherent evil. Again, bless you. ~~Nordette
A powerful story with which too many can identify. Your words make us feel the pain and open our eyes to a powerful truth many would prefer to ignore. Wish you much success with the book.
Aberjhani
with all that you went through as a child and teen I must say that there was a wonderful purpose for you in life...you are an exceptional lady my friend and I have to say this You Go Girl, tell your story!!! As a teacher I see abuse very often in children who are afraid to ask for help, or tell the truth, but you've got to look beyond words but look at the actions, they do speak louder, it is a cry for someone to care, a cry of anger....I think if people would just open their human eyes and their hearts a small amount they could see what is going on to our children. I have people that have told me you don't wont to get involved in that, better not be calling social services you'll be the one to suffer! I beg to differ I can sleep at night because I know the little boy whose hair was falling out due to malnurioushment is eating a healthy meal, the little girl who was infested with lice and filth is clean and happy, the little girl who was rescued from sleeping in an outside building has a warm bed to sleep in, and the beautiful little girl with her front teeth missing is not being sexually abused and for a battering ram. So I say I'll take my chances...I don't understand why people turned a blind eye to you then and why people continue to turn a blinded eye today...unless it's just that they don't care or are too wrapped up in themself. I will probably be the first one in line to buy your book. I think you're a wonderful writer with much to say to our sick and dieing world...so you say and people will listen.
POWerful, Aleja, but PUTRID, to know such evil persons exist!
I've seen it before..."crazy" is the favorite epitaph of abusers, because it creates more false power! [which is what abuse is all about - the abusers feel powerless, so they will TAKE power, esp. from the smallest and weakest around them, which is like taking no power at all - and because it is false, it does not last - and then, they come back again and again, to re-fuel that evil spirit!]
Praise God that you ARE a Survivor - and The LORD upheld your tiny right hand, Aleja! He knows them, too - and HE IS YOUR DEFENDER!
He raised you up to FIGHT AGAINST THAT ATROCITY - AND TO FREE OTHERS, which is exactly what you are doing with your book!
No weapon formed against you shall prosper or prevail...
Terrible to have only such raw ugly memories to look back on when you look back at your childhood, and we are glad you survived and wish you nothing but success and happiness with the release ofyour new book.
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