Recent research shows Baby Boomers go through nine (9) kinds of sex in their lifetime...
Now that I'm in the peri-menopausal stage and dealing with vaginal dryness (yes--it's one of the symptoms), I can't help but reflect back on the various stages of my sex life. You know, the times when it was so thrilling--you just couldn't get enough! These days my gynecologist is telling me over time I may lose my desire all together.
Oh Lord! I hope that doesn't happen to me because I'd hate to think I'd wasted the best years of my sex life on my ex!
If you're a baby boomer, take a minute and see how many of these "sex acts" you can identify with:
The 1st kind of sex is called SMURF SEX.This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: KITCHEN SEX.This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: BEDROOM SEX:This is when you have been with your partner for a long time.Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: HALLWAY SEX: This is when you have been with your partner for too long.When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you!"
The 5th kind of sex is called: RELIGIOUS SEX: which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon And Nun at night!
The 6th kind is called COURTROOM SEX: This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone
The 7th kind of sex: is called: SOCIAL SECURITY SEX.You get a little each month…but not enough to live on.
The 8th kind of sex is: VEGETERIAN SEX:is when it’s been so long that even a cucumber looks good
I loved this...I have laughed until my stomach is sore. You are a genius my friend and I must say a truthful one at that. I can't wait to read this to my mom, she'll get the biggest kick out of this, yeah that's right my mom is a character she's like my best friend in the world and she loves this kind of stuff, I know she will enjoy your comment about your ex....she too has an ex. Great write!
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
Laughed so hard! Still laughing! Beverly, you are a hoot!!! 4th to 9th stages have heard of but yet to experience ... phew! And hoping I never will. Lol!
By the way, Smurf and Kitchen Sex don't have to be only "... when you first meet someone .." and/or "... you have been with your partner for a short time .." Do they? They can be throughout the year. Ahem. Lol.
God bless,
Sandie.
Reviewed by Kate Clifford
10/14/2006
LOL okay I admit I know of some of these stages..........And I am single why? ;-) Enjoyed your humor.
This is absolutely wonderful! I laughed until I cried! Your sense of humor is so right on! I'm not going to get into which or what of those kinds of sex I'm familiar with ... nosirree ... not touching that with a ten inch...er...foot pole (ROFLMFAO).
You rock, Beverly!
Love,
CJ
Reviewed by Alice Cossneer
10/12/2006
ROFLMAO! Being a menopausal baby boomer myself I found this spin on our sex lives a delight to read. This was just what I needed to get my blood pumping this morning since I'm in the "Nun" stage at this time. I'll pass this to all the women I know. Happy writing....
