Monday, October 16, 2006, 10:18 a.m, D.S.T.~

Dear Rebekkah~

I got your letter, and I burst into tears. I cannot imagine the pain your family must be going through! I don't know why God allows such things to happen, but He will reveal them to us someday. Until then all we have to do is cope, try to get through this rough patch together, and rely on God. If there was ever a time we need God, it is now.

This is Johnny. I am at school, sitting in study hall. It is an ugly, gray day out, and it perfectly matches my broken mood lately. I am trying to be strong, but it is so darned hard!

People suspect something is wrong when they look at me because they see I don't smile as much as I used to, but I am afraid to tell them what happened. I guess maybe I need to talk to someone about this, because right now, my feelings are about to kill me! I hate being sad, and I  hate to see you having to go through yet more tragedy in your life!

I wish we could be there for you, but we couldn't. I am glad though, that you got the funeral bouquet, the card, and the cash from us; I was wondering if you had gotten it.

I have talked to my pastor at church, Pastor Bilkey (and also Pastor Groban, who is our children's pastor) about what has been going on, and they prayed with me and gave me some good advice. They said the best thing I could do was be there and show my support, and keep praying. They were horrified to hear what had happened to Daniella, and I sometimes wonder if I am in the middle of a nightmare that won't go away.

I have been having bad dreams about funerals, and I have woken up my brothers with my crying. Mommy or daddy then come to check on me, and we hold each other until I can calm  down. It has been really bad!

Well, I guess this is it for now. I will continue to lift your family up in my prayers, and I want you to know that you are always in my heart! I love you!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your boyfriend, Johnny. :( >tears!<