Tuesday, February 27, 2007, 10:12 a.m., C.S.T., Nashville, Tennessee~

Dear Journal~

What was it like to adopt your children? Does the feeling ever get old? How did your friends feel about your decision to adopt children who were handicapped? Why didn't you adopt children who were healthy? Do the children ever feel as though they are being exploited in some way? Hvae people ever commented on the large number of children you adopted?

Whenever people first see us, they ask questions, they always ask questions. Yet these are questions I (or my husband) are more than glad to answer.

Adopting our kids has been the best possible thing to happen to us since losing our three (natural) children. It was the best thing we could have done. Even though the children were not born to us or are not related by blood, they are still our children. We wouldn't have it any other way. No, the feeling doesn't get old. It never has, and it never will. It's akin to birthing a baby: you wait for months; then  when the day comes when the child arrives to the family, it is the most incredible experience in the world!

Our friends were more than supportive. They knew we were still in the grieving process over the death of our last child when Johnny (and Ronee') arrived; our friends accepted the newcomers willingly and get them new toys, clothes, etc. They even went as far as purchasing cases of diapers, baby food, and formula. They even babysat our children so my husband and myself could have an evening out.

They cried with us when Johnny had a cold or when Ronee' had one of her breathing attacks; when Johnny was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy at about the time he was to start walking, the support system we had was nothing short of miraculous.

We adopted children who were disabled because all too often these kids are left behind in foster homes, hospitals, or institutions to be forgotten: people would much rather adopt a child who is healthy, or a child who is younger than the age of two rather than a child with special needs. We wanted to show these special kids that we cared for them; therefore, we took them into our hearts and home to raise as our own.

No, the children don't feel like we are using them (or at least, I hope they don't). We are raising them to be self-sufficient, capable, responsible young citizens. We know the world can be a cruel, unforgiving place to any child, but especially to one who is disabled in some way. We want our children to be successful at whatever they want to do in life and if they fail, then it's okay, just as long as they get back up, dust themselves off, and try again. As long as they do, both Bill and I will be proud of them, no matter what.

Oh, Lord, yes, people are always commenting on our family. Good or bad, people feel they have something to say. They say things like "What are you trying to prove?" "Are you insane to take in that many children?" "(This is probably the most common reaction we get!), or my personal favorite, "Are you trying to break the world record for most adoptions?" We do manage to start a conversation whenever we go out in public: I mean, it isn't every day when you see a couple in their 30's being followed by a seemingly endless stream of children, children of all ages, sizes, shapes, and colors, children who are handicapped or able-bodied, or children of all nationalities. We make a good conversation starter! *giggle*

At times, parenting such a large group of children hasn't been easy, but we try to make it interesting and fun. After all, Bill and myself are kids from big families (Bill has eight brothers; I had four sisters, but one died); we wanted to have a whole passel of kids ourselves, and we were on our way, but then tragedy struck, and we were deemed to be childless.

Yet God saw to it that we were to become parents: He brought us children nobody else wanted, children with bleak futures, bleak medical prognoses, children who didn't have much of a chance at life. He brought us children who were in dire straits, children who were at the bottom of life's chain. Children like these need love too; we took them in, and grew to love them like they were our own. It wasn't hard to do! :) Yes, each child brought with him or her a special set of challenges, but they have emerged into wonderful, caring young men and women with compassionate spirits.

We don't expect our kids to behave all the time: we allow them plenty of time for kid-sized fun and mischief (just as long as it doesn't endanger themselves or others), and they know when to mind when we say no. They may complain for a while when they get in trouble, but that's the nature of the beast when it comes to raising kids. We punish our kids like any parent would: we don't allow them to use their disabilities as a crutch or excuse to get their own way. Oh, no, we frown on that! That would be the worst thing they could do!

We operate on a schedule. The littler kids eat before the big kids; if they need help, we offer assistance in any way we can. The older kids babysit the younger kids, and everyone takes turns at the chore chart. We alternate chores, and we praise them if they do a good job, reprimand them if they do poorly. We discipline our kids with tough love, and we let them know if they do wrong. We expect them to treat others with respect, and we try to teach them about God and why church or praying is so important.

As a result of this upbringing, accentuating on the positives, our kids have a good outlook on themselves (and others). They know how to share, give encouragement, and act on stage whenever they perform. They love pleasing people in any way they can; they love the limelight, and they love making people feel good. We allow them to play music as a way to express themselves; they enjoy it very much.

I play music myself (as does my husband; we both sing, and he plays guitar while I play pedal steel guitar and French accordion); it is only natural that we pass our love for music to our kids. We perform in the summer and fall months; we perform all over the south (mainly in Tennessee and Louisiana). We play Cajun, country, bluegrass, and gospel music.

The main performers in our family are Johnny and Ronee'; both have performed since they were really little, and when we perform, they are the featured acts. Whereever they go, we go. It's only fair that we show our support for our family "stars"! :)

I  have had many adventures being a parent/musician/author/nurse. I can tell you stories that would curl your hair, or stories that can make you giggle. Life is always a grand adventure for a family like ours, and we can teach the world about compassion for the disabled, family unity, cultural differences (and acceptance), and what good, old-fashioned family values can do if applied in the right way. Families can love, and they can bring hope to anyone willing to listen or look for it. My kids are very good at tuning into people's feelings and moods, and they are especially good at making other children feel good about themselves (particularly if they are disabled or are hurting in any way).

Adoption as a whole has been nothing but a positive experience; if it were not for international adoption, we would have never found the children we took in, and life would have been a far different picture. Our kids are our world, our passion; they make us proud to be their parents! :)

~Written by Louisiana Sandusky. :D