More musings from parents who are raising children with serious physical, mental, emotional, or medical disabilities, and the lessons they have learned from their children.
As a parent, I have had to learn much about my children, more so than most. You see, the majority of our children have serious physical, mental, emotional, or medical needs that require the services of doctors or emergency personnel from time to time.
We have made mistakes regarding our kids, but as they grow older, we learn more and more what to expect from them, what not to expect, what their capabilities are, and what sets them off into a rage--and how to avoid that altogether. We have learned what foods they like, what their interests are, and what their strengths/weaknesses are.
Many of our children have had to adapt to a world not geared for their specific disabilities, and if they fail, that is okay; we want them to know that we are there for them, every step of the way, and that they can only do their best; we won't be disappointed.
We have taught the kids that not all people are nice or are as accepting of them as we are. We try to tell them not to be ashamed of their disabilities, their disabilities are only a small part of who they are, and they should focus more on what they can do, not what they can't.
Our kids have seen more and done more than most because of their upbringing before they came to us. That is, they have experienced the cold, hard facts of life (most before school age), they know how cruel the world can be, but that there are people in this world who are ready to love them, accept them, give them a chance to succeed.
No, it isn't easy at times, but we enjoy each moment we have with our children, and each day with them is a new and grand adventure just waiting to happen.
~Louisiana Sandusky ([adoptive] mother to 59 children, many with special needs, Nashville, Tennessee).
Parenting children with special needs is an ongoing learning process. Take it from me, and take it from my husband, Michael.
My name is Kendra Williams-Kent. I and my family reside in the beautiful city of Sonora, which is near Sacramento. We have 24 children, 23 girls and one lone boy. Our children range in age from three on up to college age, and most happen to be disabled.
I am, too. I was born with spina bifida that left me dependent on a chair for mobility purposes, and it also left me with learning difficulties; but I have never given up--nor will I give up--EVER.
Having a disability like mine has given me a soft spot for disabled children, particularly disabled children in need of a home or a family. When our girls (and our boy) came to us, I was elated; they were the children I'd always wanted (but never could have, due to my disability). Now I am expecting my first child, and we couldn't be happier. It is nothing short of a Miracle that this has happened to me.
Yes, indeed, God is good! :)
~Kendra Mae Kent (mother to 24 children, all with special needs), Sonora, California.
Keneesha here, Keneesha Diamond. I have three beautiful daughters, one, of which, is deaf. She was born that way, but nothing has ever stopped her. She will "talk" year ear off with her hands (she communicates with sign language), and she is a giggler. Nothing hardly slows her down, and she is always doing something exciting with her older sisters.
At first, I was dismayed, frightened at how she would cope with her disability; as the years have gone by, I have found out that she isn't the disability; she's a person WITH a disability, and this disability has never made her not want to do whatever she chooses in life. She is very smart, she is funny, and she is good at making others laugh or feel better about themselves.
~Keneesha Diamond (mother to three daughters, one with special needs, Memphis, Tennessee).
Bart Simpson is my name. I live in Mansfield, Ohio, with my sons who are the lights of my life. If it were not for my boys, I would have gone crazy long ago, especially since losing my wife, Annie, to the ravages of cancer.
I work three jobs in order to provide for my boys; a day off is a rare thing for me, but when I am off from work, I spend every moment possible with my sons.
Now, my sons have special needs, but they are still great kids who love to have fun. They act like typical boys, even though they may get around differently than most kids, and they can get into trouble when mischief strikes them. I am always on my toes because you never know what my boys are concocting inside their little young minds, and I have to be on the constant guard, to ensure that they don't hurt themselves--or each other, or even other kids around the neighborhood.
I wish people could overlook their outward appearances and see them as the great kids they really are. That is my fondest wish.
~Bart Simpson, single father to four sons, all with special needs, Mansfield, Ohio).
You can't imagine the chaose that often ensues at our house when the kids are up. They can get into trouble faster than a tire changer at a NASCAR auto race. LOL
My name is Anna King. I live in Alaska with my family. Our children come from around the globe or around Alaska, but they are our kids now, and now we can't imagine the family without any of them. We love them that much.
Our children are also disabled, some quite severely, yet their lives are full of hope, promise, even joy. We want to provide the best for our kids, and we try to teach them of the beauty of life and to appreciate all that God has given to us as His Children.
Yet there are those narrow-minded people who can't see past our kids' problems, and they treat them badly. That really hurts me, especially since I am their mother, their caretaker. My kids didn't ask to be born disabled: it just happeened. No, life is sometimes not fair for them, but I want to give them hope, give them a chance, give them all the opportunity in the world to succeed.
This is why I am glad we live in Alaska. Alaska has so much in the way of natural beauty; there isn't a place quite like it; once you have seen Alaska, you will probably never forget it for the rest of your life. Alaska also has opportunities for people of all walks of life, and in my neighborhood, our kids are treated very, very well. My neighbors love my kids, and they have a lot of friends, both in the neighborhood and at their respective schools.
Yes, my kids are very fortunate indeed, and I dare anyone tell me that I am not a good parent becauwse I am here to tell them differently!
~Annie King, Sitka, Alaska, (adoptive) parent to children with special needs.
Thank you, Karen, for these beautiful and heartwarming testimonies. I work in a classroom with nine children with severe/profound mental retardation. They are the most wonderful, loveable children. Even though society may not be able to see them as such right now, WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD'S PERCEPTION, one child at a time!
Peace,
Jean
Reviewed by d. k
4/11/2007
Very interesting to read how Each parent has had to deal with the children living ia a world that still does not understand disabilities. Very good write, sure different from the others! I enjoyed it!
Wonderful chronicles of children with disabilities. I have learned so much from reading your stories. Stories that I would not have read otherwise as the availability of these journals on children's disabilities are a rare find...it's not something most would read, but I find these stories beneficial to understanding this part of society. Whenever I go into a store nowadays and see a child in a wheelchair, I always think of your stories which are compassionate and even entertaining with sometimes a humorous note. Thanks for the story today, Karen Lynn...Blessed Be.
It's what's in their hearts, which none bother to look for, but they can love and be loved like any of us in fact they can show us a thing or two when it comes to loving someone. God bless the parents who see this love each day and respond to it with their own hearts.
This is a little different format than the letter writing and I think it is a little very well written directing the readers attentin to the struggles of these devoted parents.
Your peek into compassionate worlds of parents having children with special needs is nothing short of amazing! Love fills these homes, and your words: well done! More of these, please.
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