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True Confessions Of A Mega-Mom (Part Two) *For Joyce Bowling With Love! :)* by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Rated "G" by the Author.
Louisiana Sandusky shares more musings about parenting a family of sixty children, most, of whom, have special needs.
Since I last wrote out my thoughts regarding the joys of being a mega-mom, we have added another child to the family: we now have adopted sixty children.
Our newest charge came to us only a few days ago from Finland. Our newest child is named Bjorn Wilhem, and he is three years old. He was born deaf and blind; he cannot see nor hear. He has some autistic-like behaviors, probably because of his inability to see or hear. He sits on the floor, rocking constantly, and if stressed or scared in any way, he'll start screaming or lashing out for no apparent reason. It must be frustrating to not have two of your most important senses...
Bjorn was born an albino child. This means he has very little pigment in his skin. His hair is snow white, and his skin is very pale. His eyes are a pale, pale ice blue, and yet they see nothing. It's as though he is in his own little world a lot of the time; trying to help him is going to be a daunting task.
We are, however, glad, so very glad, that Bjorn is here. We are ready to love him, give him a chance, try to help him through his fears. It will take a while, but we are willingly up to the task.
Today is a bright, sunny day: the storms have cleared out of here, and all is well (at least here). I am sure there are parts of Tennessee who got rocked by the tornado-laden storms; hopefully there wasn't too much in the way of damage or heartbreak. In Texas, in the tiny border town of Eagle Pass, seven members of a family were killed when the mobile home they were in was picked up by the fierce winds and tossed into the side of an elementary school. Very tragic. I will have to say prayers for the people down there in Eagle Pass, Texas...
I continue to keep busy with my adoption community, writing to people around the world, helping them with any adoption-related questions that they may have, sending them info on different adoption agencies we have dealt with, telling them which adoption agencies are good, which ones are not, that type of thing. I send them letters of encouragement as they start their adoption journeys, and I try to be there for them as they start their journeys or navigate through the complicated adoption process.
When people have questions pertaining to raising children with special needs, they have come to the right person when they contact me. I am more than happy to help, give them advice, tell them about some of of the situations I have faced as a parent (and a nurse). I know how it is when a child needs to be fed by a gastromony tube, I know how it is when a child unexpectedly suffers a seizure or a breathing attack, and I know how it is when a child's catheter tube leaks or falls out from their bladder. I know how it is to suction a child's tracheostomy tube or to change bandages on sensitive burned skin. I know how it is to rush a child gasping for air to the local ER, and I know how it is when a child unexpectedly throws up their dinner when a minute ago they were fine.
Life with children who have special needs is never dull, but I am happy that I am raising them. They are growing up before my eyes, and those who were babies are now walking, talking, learning to discover the world about them. Kids who weren't expected to live or do much for themselves are defying doctors' odds, talking, walking, or even going to school. Kids who weren't supposed to walk are walking with the aid of braces, crutches, or canes, and children who can't see or hear are making their wants known in special, unique ways and are discovering unseen or unheard adventures that await them.
Children without limbs are still able to dress themselves, eat by themselves, even draw, paint, or write (thanks to their prosthetic limbs), or even walk. Children who were born little people can climb, reach, get what they need, nothing stops them, not even high places. Give them a stool, and they will climb up--and all over! LOL
Children who have breathing problems manage their difficulties by medication, staying away from allergens that give them trouble, even use oxygen for an extra edge. Children who have weakness or movement disorders are moving gracefully or without fear. Children who are paralyzed still walk or wheel their way through life. Children who are retarded learn to read, count, write, express themselves in ways that people understand.
Life with these children hasn't been easy at times, but they have blossomed under our care, our love, our guding hands, and it is incredible to see the advances they have made. They are miracles in the true st sense, and are good at meeting people, making people feel comfortable around them, making people see that even the most severely handicapped child can contribute much in life. They are our teachers, they are the world's teachers, they are mini advocates for the handicapped. They teach people to see beyond their disabilities, and they teach children (or adults) that they are just like them in a lot of ways.
Our children have done so much, experienced much, will continue to do so in the future. Nothing holds them back, and life to them is one big, exciting, non-ending adventure. As long as they have life, they shall live it, they shall experience it, and nothing, not even the most severe disabilities, will stop them. They are absolutely incredible!
Now, I realize that adoption isn't for everyone. That is okay; but it has worked wonders for us, and if anyone could see the love in the face of a needy child, or hear the words "I love you" roll from silent lips, then it is worth more than all the gold in the world. Nothing makes me happier than being their mother!
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Reviewed by d. k
4/27/2007
I love, "As long as they have life, they shall life it, they shall experience it, and nothing, not even the most severe disabilities will stop them." My friend, I believe that one line says it all! Superb work! We all need to be reminded every now and again of how blessed we are, so many thanks! Keep on writing!
Wow! What a beautiful and heart felt write my dear friend, and thank you so much for the write! This came at such a wonderful time. I was sitting here tonight thinking about the days events, I have a child in my class who has all limbs, his vision, hearing, and can speak...but he has autism, and sometimes he is in his own world and doesn't allow others inside. It is difficult at times to reach him, we had a difficult day today as he wanted to throw temper trantrums when he normally doesn't...but he touched my heart deeply this afternoon before going home when he said with a big sincere smile, "I'm sorry Mrs. Bowling, sorry with sugar on top!" My heart melted as did the wall that he had built up during the day...he was his happy carefree self the remainder of the afternoon. I told a story with my students before going home about a twenty year class reunion, I was pleased to see all of my 2007 students and their success. The children loved it! This particular boy is an outstanding artist...he sketches like a professional cartoonist, amazing. So in this story he was living out in California and had become a very successful cartoonist! His eyes lit up, and he exclaimed, "Me, you mean me! I'm going to be rich?" I proceeded to tell my entire class that with hard work and belief in theirself that they could be whatever they desired to be. It was a fun lesson as the six year old children couldn't wait to see what they were going to be doing in the year 2027! Thank you again my friend, enjoyed this so very much! Love to read about your wonderful characters, they come from the heart of a wonderful person!
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
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