Tuesday, May 1, 2007, 10:13 a.m., D.S.T., Nashville, Tennessee~

Dear Journal~

Aurora Skydancer here. I am settled in my new "livin' quarters", the fine facility of Evergreen Manor. A nursing home yet. Nice. (Not really; oh, the place itself isn't so bad, but I am too young to be in this place; I am not an old lady! I don't belong here!!)

I am glad I am out of the hospital, though: no more I.V.'s (they'd better not put one in me; I'll shove the pole right up their asses!), no more unnecessary tubes in strategic locations, no more--waking me up at two g.d. a.m. in the morning for a g.d. sleeping pill! ARGGH!! Those nurses probably meant well, but they drove me crazy! Especially Maureen; I could NOT stand the bitch!!

Doc saw me today, asked how I was doing. I told him "You've gotta' be kiddin', right?" If I were "okay", I'd be back at my home in New Mexico, not stuck here in this place in a state that I am not even familiar with! I feel so lost here in Tennessee; besides, the people here talk funny! I don't understand them half of the time!!

I am, however, stuck in bed, still hooked up to oxygen tubes stuck in my nose, also have on the heart monitor. I may be out of the hospital in the technical sense, but I still feel like I'm a---patient in the hospital. If I could just talk the nurses into getting rid ot the heart monitor or the nasal canula, I'd be a happy camper, but nooo...my breathing has to be bad! ARGGGH!!

I am trying to do the exercise the docs and the physsies gave to me, but it's so hard; it isn't long before I'm wheezing like a broken-down old accordion, and then I have to hit the oxygen tubes again, just so's I can get my lungs to quiet down. It's aggravating. I still have P.T. and O.T. here, and I still feel like I'm trapped in some sterile prison!

I talked to my friends back home in Alamogordo, where I live; they wonder when I am coming back home.  I told them I had no clue, that they were keeping me here against my will. (Not really, but that's how I've felt lately!) I am still very depressed about my lot in life; and I am still listening to that "cry-in-your-beer", "my woman done left me" kind of music. All the more to feed the fires of depression; no wonder I'm such an emotioanl wreck!

I've nothing better to do other than my therapy or eating baby food here. That's what the food looks like: grey, shapeless, unidentifiable. Have no clue what I'm eating; everything tastes the same. The only thing worth consuming is the drinks; and I have been drinking lots of water, apple juice, tomato juice, cranberry juice. I've drank so much in the way of liquids it's a wonder I don't piss myself more often! I'm gonna' have to start wearing adult diapers one of these days 'cause I'm not fast enough to make it to the potty on time!

I watched "E.R." on tv; I love that show. Always have, always will. I love Dr. Weaver (Laura Innes): she's tough as they come. She may have a disability (what, I don't know; she walks with a forearm crutch), but she doesn't let it get in her way. She's as dedicated as they come, and she can be caring one minute, and a regular bitch the next. I love that in a woman; I just love her! :)

I also love Dr. Benton (Eriq LaSalle); he's all business too, and he knows his stuff when it comes to doctorin' people back to health. I wish more good things would happen to him: he has a deaf son, and he appears to be a good father, but he's too serious most of the time!

Well, I am going to go now; physsie's knocking at the door again; gotta grab my crutches and go to terror-py. *Sigggggh* That's the story of my life: if I'm not lying in bed like a beached whale, I'm going to terror-py for more pain and torture! ARGGGH!! Take care; will write in here again soon!

~Aurora Skydancer.