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My Father Did This To Me. Part One. *Warning: Sensitive Subject Matter* by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Rated "R" by the Author.
A teenaged boy must get past the nightmare of his molestation--as caused by his father.
My first attempt at horror. I hope you aren't offended by the raw language, but once you read the story, you will soon understand why I used it. It fits the nature of the story.
To read, hit the "agree" button on the mature content bar. You'll get to my story that way.
No matter how hard I try I can't sleep. I can't eat, I can't even think.
Every waking moment of my life is controlled by It. It is all I think about. It's ruining my life.
This started two years ago, when I was twelve. I'm now fourteen, still plagued by nightmares. If I ever see my father's ugly piggy face again, I plan on killing him; the bastard has ruined my life and the lives of my family.
My father (unbeknownst to most of my friends) molested me. I remember being in the shower and seeing my father standing there, staring at me. I could feel his beady eyes on me, made me feel stained, dirty somehow, but nothing like when he put his cock into me and molested me, said I was the prettiest boy he'd ever seen. It was beyond disgusting, especially when he started doing it on a regular basis.
I have been ruined by this sicko. My own flesh and blood betrayed me, made me feel worthless, lower than dirt. Because of him I am a marked person. I will never be the same again. I will never trust my dad again because he blew any chance of a (meaningful) relationship with me and the other members of my family. He fucked me, and because of it I can't bring myself to even look at him or think about him.
I don't know what caused my father to become this way, but it's wrecked me, wrecked my family. We are now living in another state under different names; that way, the jerk can't find us, or strike again in his sick, sneaky way. I now have nightmares, my grades have suffered, and I am scared to sleep alone at night, for fear HE may be lurking in the shadows of night.
I have lost weight; I have been in and out of the psychiatric hospital because I can't deal with the goddamn nightmares, the PTSD I now suffer. I am an emotional basketcase, and I don't think I will ever get over it. I hate my father for doing this to me; I HATE, HATE him with a loathing that burns deep. He is nothing but an enigma, a person who no longer exists in my life.
Because of what he did, my father is in jail. I am glad he is there. I hope he rots in there, and I hope that he will be there for a very long time to come. This last time was the last straw that broke the camel's back. After he molested me, I hit him over the head with a bat and put him in the hospital. I wasn't sorry I did it. When I called the police and reported what he'd done, they threw the book at him and threw him in the pen, where he now lives.
Now the family spends their time trying to pick up the shattered pieces of our lives, and I remain in therapy, trying to deal with the shit that's gone on for the past two years. I don't know how much longer I can take this; I am ready to crack under the pressure of trying to hide The Secret from the friends I have grown to trust. I fear that once they find out, they will go away, just like everyone else has.
Karen I find myself lost for words
because I am thinking about what that scumbag deserves
in this life, to do atrocities like that to his own children
Lynching would be too good for him, what he needs is to someone
inform the other prisoners at the Pen, that he is a molester of children, then they'll take care of him, unless the coward
is already in protective custody.
If he don't get what he deserves in this life
He will burn in hell eternally.
Child molesters do not fair well in prison! Most die of "accidents" not long after their fellow prisoners find out what they are in for. Men in prison for murder will help along the accident because children are precious even to them, murderers.
Powerful Powerful beginning Karen! A very gifted author!
Love,
annie
A different kind of write for you Karen, but one that you've captured the grit of the tragic story. It is hard to see a child that has been mistreated, wronged, and invaded in such a way! As a teacher dealing with the public, I am sad to say that I have seen this happen time and time again, a child comes into the classroom happy and carefree, but soon becomes troubled and withdrawn...on many occasions it is because of abuse from a parent. We had a kindergarten child last year who showed extreme signs of sexual abuse, finally after much diligent work and continued effort the courts took the child and placed her in an foster care, her father is now serving time in prison for molesting her. She was just a baby...a baby living in a grown up world! Such a sad thing...we live in a mixed up society where many people have forgotten about family, values, love, trust, and God! I think if our nation would turn back to God and the values that our nation was founded on, we would probably still have these occurances, as we always have, but they would be fewer and farther between as they were in years past! Great write dear friend, you are a gifted author who can write about a variety of topics...that takes talent!
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
Rape is a horrendous trauma for anyone. My book, "When Justice is Served" is about a young woman's rape by an unknown assailant, but what she suffered was nearly her undoing.
You've captured te degradation that a sexually abused child must feel. Good job, Karen!
Very intense, strong and painful look of the cruelties a molester inflicts on even his own family. All too often when young boys are molested it is even kept a lid on then when young girls are molested because of the double perversity of it and the stigma that will follow the victim. Both are vile and should be punished to the highest degree of the law. Very well done write and truly giving incite into a sensitive subject.
W O W, Karen, a completely different foray into new genres, raw, unadulterated horror is right. Excellent capture of a nightmare come to life--well done!
Chris has been fostered at the Crowley boot camp since he turned seven. At sixteen, he is finally ready to run away because his foster father is an abusive person who works Chris and the other children to the point of exhaustion. All he has left of h
