Sunday, 13 May, 2007~

Dear Mother~

How I miss you this special day! I know you are in a better place, but I find it hard to forgive those who took  you away from me. It didn't have to happen; my heart still bleeds tears whenever I think of you (which is every day).

Sweet Precious Mother, how I wish you could have met your first grandchild, Jubaki; no, how I wish you could meet ~all~ of your grandchildren! You have ten beautiful grandchildren now: Jubaki, the twins, triplets, and now quadruplets. Yes, you read right: you have ten grandchildren; they know of you because I tell them about you and Father all the time. How I wish they could have gotten the chance to kow you as I had!

This is your daughter, M'Buti. I am happily married with many calves and bulls now to raise; continuing with the Maasai ways in their upbringing, that way, they don't forget of their Maasai heritage. They are also raised in the American way, but I let them know of their African ways first. That way, they will have the best of both worlds.

They are all growing up so fast: Jubaki is going to be ten in June, and the twins are starting school in the fall. They are now five years old. The triplets are now a year old, walking and talking up a storm; they are a handful! As for the quadruplets, they demand much of my time; I am so tired I don't know whether I'm coming or going half the time!

It seems like a distant memory when only Jubaki was our child. How quiet it was back then; how I long for those quiet, carefree days of yore! LOL

Mother, I am writing to wish you a happy Mother's Day. I wish I could still talk to you, share my deepest thoughts with you, drink asaroi or eat delicious African cooking with you! How I wish I could still smell your odor, rub your back when you are tired or ill, or help you with the work! I feel so worthless because I am not able to do the work I once did, and I never know when I am going to become unwell.

My health is a day by day thing with me. Some days, I am feeling good, on others I feel horrid. My blood pressure is still giving me problems, and at times I am so dizzy I turn nauseous. Just the thought of food is enough to make me ill those days. It is not easy for me to get around, not with sticks, not with my wheelchair. Sometimes I am slower than an injured gazelle; I'd surely become lion's food!

Mother, I wish you could see Roberto. He has settled down; he isn't the wild man he once was. He has turned into a very loving spouse, a loving father, a devoted soldier who still practices his military skills once a month. He still looks sexy in his Marine uniform or in his cammies! Every time I see him in his cammies or uniform, I melt like a stick of butter! LOL He is still built like a solid wall; still in fantastic shape, which is more than I can say about me. I am as skinny as a pole! LOL No meat on my bones at all! I am very fragile looking; I can't get any fat on me, no matter HOW hard I try!!

Mother, I am going out for Mother's Day. Roberto and the children are taking me out for a good dinner. We are going to the Golden Corral today. I haven't been there in a long time; no, we haven't been OUT in a long time. I am usually cooped up in the house with the little ones; hard to get away.

I am looking forward to it, but at the same time I'm not. I see all those mothers, and my heart breaks because I know I don't have a mother--at least not anymore. It is hard dealing with the memory of your passing, and it is hard trying not to cry or feel jealous. I know that is wrong, but at times I can't help myself.

Well, Mother, Roberto is calling; asking me to help with the kids, make sure they are ready. Take care, and know I love and miss you more than you ever know! Happy Mother's Day up there in Heaven; say jambo to Father for me, and tell him I love him, too!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your Daughter, M'Buti. :( >tears<