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One Step At A Time: The Adoption Chronicles #3 (The Figaronelli Family) by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Rated "G" by the Author.
A family writes about raising children with special needs.
My name is Gilda. Gilda Faye Bigelow-Figaronelli. I live in Tarrytown, New York, with my husband, Vincente, and our six children, Kayla Roselina (15), Vincente Guiseppe, Jr. (12), Harlan Georgio (10), Graciella Bella (8), Brooklyn Tarrah (6), and finally, our youngest, Philomena Theresa, who is two.
My husband is a football coach/history teacher at one of the local high schools; meanwhile, I am a stay-at-home mom, and I homeschool the children; that way, I'm always with them, and if a problem comes up, I can help them right away.
Our children all have special needs. Kayla, who was adopted ten years ago froom Korea, has Down's syndrome and is mentally handicapped and has accompanying physical characteristics. She also has heart problems and is often in and out of the hospital.
Vincente is our own flesh and blood (our only "birth" child), but he was born with autism and learning disabilities. He isn't too badly affected with the autism, but if there is change in his routine, he'll get very upset, and it takes all of our wits to calm him. He is teased by the kids in his scouting troup; he has very few friends, which breaks our hearts, because we don't know how to help him. It's very frustrating.
Harlan, who was adopted from Vietnam, has celiac disease (he can't eat certain foods or he'll end up getting very sick), and he also has asthma and food allergies. He's had to go to the hospital ER on a regular basis; it scares the hell out of us whenever he gets sick; we are afraid he is going to die on us. He's one of the reasons why I have grey hair now.
Graciella and her sister Brookie were adopted from New York City three years ago; they both suffered abuse at the hands of their parents, and both have severe behavioral problems. They are enrolled in a special school for abused children, and they face years of therapy. It's unnerving to see them act up in such a violent way, and they are only home with us on the weekends because their behavior is often so unpredictable. One can only wonder what horrors the little girls endured; it's chilling to think about.
Our baby, Phillie, was adopted from China, and she has cerebral palsy. She can't walk or talk: she is in a wheelchair, and she can only communicate by using her face or eyes. She is severely handicapped; she can't feed herself, dress herself, or go to the potty on her own; she wears diapers and isn't toilet trained. She is more like a baby than a child of two; but she is still a delightful child with a cheerful disposition.
If there ever was a child who could turn a big bear of a man into a pussycat, it's Phillie. She has her daddy wrapped around her little finger; she is his, and he is hers, no question about it. If he leaves the room, she won't stop crying until he returns. If he isn't home, she'll pout until she hears his truck pull into the driveway; then she's all smiles. It never fails.
Raising children like ours isn't easy by any stretch of the imagination, but God has given us a special job to do. It is our responsibility to see that all their needs are met--mental, physical, spiritual, emotional. We take it one step at a time, and some days are decidedly better than others.
Yet despite all the problems our kids face with their health, they are still great kids, and we wouldn't trade any of them for a million dollars. They are our life, and they are the inspiration that keeps us going.
One day we will be telling their life story in a book I'm working on at the current time (tentatively called "Parenting With Love, Figaronelli Style!"). I plan on telling their story to the world because I think the world should know more about the family Figaronelli. They say everyone has a story to tell, and we are certainly no exception.
I will be writing more later on. You haven't heard the last from me.
~Gilda Faye Figaronelli, Tarrytown, New York (adoptive parent of five, biological mother to one son, all with special needs).
Karen, I like the way you portray these families. So much love and compassion among them. We normal folk learn no much from your writes. Thank you. Your hard works does not go unnoticed. (I'm just a little slow getting caught up 'cause of all the stuff I do in the day.)
I only wish that all parents were as wonderful, and that all parents could care for their young, nurture them and enjoy their lives. Such a sad world with so many children suffering from neglect and abuse! Your work is inspiring my friend! Always great to hear positive family values and happiness instead of suffering and heartache with our youth of today!
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
"...Raising children like ours isn't easy by any stretch of the imagination, but God has given us a special job to do...." He provided the children to be loved, to be nutured, to be taken care of. An excellent sharing of the awesome (sometimes fearful) responsibility some parents have: well done.
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