Johnny is worried about his girlfriend, who is recovering from an infection in her bloodstream; she is in the hospital. He is also worried about other things going on in his life.
June 19, 2007, 11:09 a.m, D.S.T.~
Dear Journal~
I don't know what to do any more. I am tired of worrying myself to death like this.
Rebekkah is in the hospital--again. This time it looks like she will be in for a while. She was in a coma, but is now awake--and talking. She has a massive infection in her bloodstream; she is really sick. She is, however, doing better: she got out of the ICU and the doctors think she may have gotten over the worst of her infection.
I hope so.
At the news, I cried; I'm still crying as I write this down. I don't know what Rebekkah has done to deserve all this crap in her life. I don't know what I have done to deserve all this sadness in mine. Just when I think my life is humming along, *WHAMMO* More heartbreak!
It's enough to make a guy want to commit suicide.
I'm not thinking of killing myself, but I've given up all hope of ever having good things happen to me. I have gotten used to having bad things happening to me; I've almost forgotten how it feels to be happy, on top of the world.
Then, if that were not enough, I have a terribly sore finger. I slammed it in the door the other day; took the end of it slap off. It really hurts; it hurts worse than a boil! I don't know why I didn't take it out of the way when I shut the door; just shut it right on my finger. Boy, talk about STUPID!!
I am bummed out (nothing new) because of all this poop-poo going on. It's like God must hate me or something. I mean, how much can one guy possibly take?? Is He trying to tell me something??
I am sorry if I am like this. Something must be wrong with me. There's no other way I can explain my moods as of late. They suck. They really suck!
I just found out today that Loretta Lynn was in Fort Worth, Texas, two days ago at Billy Bob's. We usually go there when Loretta Lynn sings there; this year we didn't. Too much stuff going on in our lives.
Mama has been running her head off these past few days. She's been going in and out of the house, running to and from the hospital, even when she's not working there. She looks like death warmed over. She needs to take a break; I don't want anything to happen to her--or her unborn baby; she's pregnant, you know--nearly three months.
I'm bummed out too because Ronee' made it to the next round of "America's Got Talent". There was an article about her in our paper, and next week the news team is going to come out to the house to interview her. More attention on her. She makes me so mad sometimes; sometimes I hate her because she gets all the glory, and all I get is squat!! GRRR!
The weather is the only good thing here: sunny and hot. Makes me wish I was at MDA camp (that happens in August). At least I have something to look forward to doing; I am too busy there to worry about things like I do when I am at home!
I just wonder how many of my friends from camp have died. Seems like every time I go there's new faces missing. This does little to improve my spirits. I love MDA camp, don't get me wrong; but I also hate it!!
I am going to eat; it might make me feel better. Seems like when I am sad I have to eat; I get hungry when I am depressed like this.
Take care and see you later. Hopefully next time I write, I'll be in a better mood; Lord knows, I need a break!!
What a great write, you've penned it well...a touch of reality that many can relate to. I love how you mix real people such as Loretta Lynn within your writing, makes it even more believable. I enjoy Loretta Lynn's singing, she does Kentucky proud! Enjoyed the write my friend, as always it is a pleasure to stop by your den!
Blessings,
Joyce B.
Johnny sure is under the weight of the world! When I have days (weeks/ months/ or years!) like that, I cling to that Scripture from 2 Corinthians 4:17 "For our light affliction, which is for the moment, worketh for us more and more exceedingly, an eternal weight of glory;"
I hope it helps Johnny make it through, too...I'll be praying :)
Man, news just keeps getting worse and worse for Johnny while Ronee soars with good news. Hope it gets better for him...he needs a break!!!!! Well done, Karen.
A page-turning novel about a relationship between best friends that is interrupted because of betrayal , deceit, sexual promiscuity and pregnancy happens!
A page-turning novel about a relationship between best friends that is interrupted because of betrayal , deceit, sexual promiscuity and pregnancy happens!
