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In My Brown Eyes by Kisha M Morris
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Rated "R" by the Author.
A middle-aged woman seeks to find inner peace and purpose for daily living. Seeks to understand the true meaning and value of life. The woman tries to understand why she exists and along the way, meets some very interesting people that will shape her life into the woman that WANTS to be.
In my brown eyes, one can see the hurt and pain, the love and disdain, the peace and the raging rivers of my soul. I am all too eager to get to the Promised Land in Pennsylvania to catch up on some much needed rest and relaxation. Everyone wanting me to go somewhere, meet with this person, and writing all of these articles. I am too tired to even think of such a thing. I am sure that this trip will be well worth it.
“Don’t you think so, Poochie?” I asked my cat. I couldn’t leave Poochie at home with a babysitting service while I was up here in the wilderness. Plus, I needed someone to keep me company. There is nobody better than Poochie.
I found Poochie at the local shelter a few months ago and he has been a great addition to my family. He was just sitting quietly by himself when I pointed him out amongst the other cats. My mom would never let me have any pets when I was younger other than goldfish. At one time, I had almost 25 goldfish in one time. My room was so toxic that I couldn’t even sleep one night from all the waste collecting in the filter. That was an experience that was too overwhelming for me to maintain. Everyday one would die until there were only three goldfish left. I took care of them for almost a year until they died of shock. I cried all day after I flushed them down the toilet. Those were the days that I remember now from my childhood when I was happy.
Just when I am thinking about the good old days someone wants to call me. Who could this be? No one knows that I have made it but Patricia. Who else would keep tabs on me but her?
“Hello, Patricia,” I sigh in discomfort.
“”Ambrosia Catalina Jones, why haven’t you called me yet? You know that I am worried sick about you and you didn’t even bother to call me when you got there! What kind of mess are you trying to pull?” shouts Patricia.
“Patricia, calm your nerves, girl. I am perfectly alright. I am big girl and I can do some things for myself every once in a while. Poochie and I are just fine. We are still getting settled in. It is so peaceful and beautiful here. You should see it. You would love it.”
“Well, have you gotten any food? How is the kitchen? It is clean and well maintained? Do you need me to send you some groceries?”
“No, Patty, I will be going to the grocery store soon to pick up some groceries for the house. The kitchen is immaculate and decorated in great taste. I love it! I can’t wait to light a fire and curl up with Poochie and a good book,” I exclaim.
“Well, if you hadn’t run off Lane he would’ve been there with you,” she blurts out.
“Lane isn’t the one for me, Patricia. I mean I thought I loved him but I am just not ready to settle down with someone who wants to control everything and all of me. I don’t want to make the same mistake as my mom did with daddy. Lane is wonderful but he was the one who didn’t want to wait, remember?”
“But, Amby, you two were so good for each other. I thought that he was perfect for you. I spent too much time trying to hook you two…” Patricia cut herself off abruptly.
“What do you mean that you spent too much time trying to hook us up? What are you talking about, Patricia? Now you are about to make me upset! I met Lane at L’Enfant Plaza at Au Bon Pain. He conveniently bumped into me while I was getting coffee! What the hell is going on here?”
I was more than pissed with Patricia. What does she mean that she spent too much time hooking us up? Was I just one of her dating experiments for her practical study? I don’t need her to hook me up with anyone. No wonder she was so intent for me to go out with him. She has set this whole thing up from the start. I can’t believe this! What else has she not told me?
“Ambrosia, I thought that you needed to get away from work a little bit. You work so much and don’t have time for a social life. You can’t run away from love forever. Just because your mom and dad are no longer together, does not mean that the same thing will happen to you,” Patricia points out.
“Patricia, stop analyzing my situation and my life. I thought that you were my friend. You have been manipulating me all of this time and it has to stop. I love you as my sister and you turn around to betray me like this?” Darn, I can’t find any tissue in this smelly old house and everything is still packed up. I can’t believe that she would do this to me! I wonder if Chloe and Divine know about this too.
“Is Chloe and Divine in on this too?” I shout at her enraged.
“Ambrosia, this is not as bad as it seems. I was just trying to help. And no, Chloe and Divine do not know that I arranged for him to meet you. I am so sorry, Amby. I really am. I just want you to be happy again,” Patricia says calm manner.
“You know what? I have to go. Good bye. Don’t call me, I will call you. I need some time to sort things out anyway,” I tell her sobbingly.
“Call me soon, Ambrosia. I just thought I was doing what was best for you.” Click. Dead silence. I still can’t believe this is happening to me. How could my best friend set me up like this? Poochie rubs up against my cheek affectionately. He always knows how to comfort me. He calms my spirit. At least I don’t have to worry about him betraying me like Patricia. I need to unpack these boxes and then make it to the grocery before everything shuts down at sunset.
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