No matter how hard I try, whenever I think one of my kids is getting ahead in life, >whammo!< Another setback occurs. A trip to the emergency room, a medical test, a visit to the doctor's office for whatever reason it may be. Another conference with the teacher, trying to pinpoint the cause behind my child's grades slipping downward or "lack of participation" in class.

Such instances make me wonder why we decided to adopt children with special needs in the first place. Why do we punish ourselves like this, put ourselves through all this heartache? Why do we insist on arguing with the insurance companies or putting up with staggering medical bills that wil only go higher once the child falls ill? Why do we pay outrageously high prices for medical equipment, just so's our child can have a better quality of life? Why experience all of this medical drama, why dream of normalcy for our disabled kids, why try to make the world understand that our children are more than their disabilities?

We may not know the answers to the above questions, but one thing is certain: whenever our child recovers from a terrifying medical crisis, beats the odds, rewards us with a new word, a new skill, or gets a good doctor's report, then maybe all of this pain, this aggravation, is well worth it. I can't tell you how many times of the joy I felt when Jo-El took his first steps on prosthetic legs or learned to manipulate objects with his prosthetic hooks, or when Rhiannon lives yet another year--despite being on oxygen or having CF that should have killed her when she was five years old. (She's now going on the age of ten.) I can't tell you about the joy I felt when Jodie leaerned a new word in her expanding vocabulary after years of silence, or when Roberto came back from his last major heart surgery after nearly dying on the operating table.

I still tear up when I think of the happy times in their lives: the outcome could have been far different; yet by God's amazing Grace, He brought these kids through some of the most difficult, most trying circumstances imaginable. All of my kids (even those who aren't disabled) are miracles; if it were not for God, I wouldn't even have my kids; He was the One who brought the children to us, to brighten our lives. He knew we wanted a family so He brought us the blessings of children nobody else wanted.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think our kids would accomplish so much in their brief lives, enough to make an impact on the lives of others: Johnny's courage and his gift for entertaining others with his God-given talents for music, Ronee' 's soaring vocals and her skills as a budding musician, Lightning's gifts as a loving mother despite living with a devastating physical disability, or Melizza becoming a productive young citizen--despite living with mental illness.

All have surpassed the most difficult of circumstances; all shine brightly, all sseem to be poised on the edge of greatness, with even more good things in store for each of them.

Even with their disabilities, these special children show the world that people with disabilities, no matter how severe, can achieve much in life--that is, if only they are given that chance, which is their (and our) primary goal.

Oh, if only the world could see my children as I see them: the unique, capable people they are, that they are not their disabilities, just children who happen to have disabilities! They are incredible, and as the years go by, I am only feeling more blessed in being their mother. They have brightened my life tenfold, and now that they are starting to spread their wings, the pride I feel for each of my Miracle Kids only grows as the years pass!