Captain Kirk's birthday party bash is a bit unusual...Spock is in charge of making the cake...it's a real blast!!
Space The Final Frontier.....
Spock looks over the guest list for his best friend. He wants to make his 65th birthday a special one. They have been traveling together on the Enterprise for over 40 years now...
"Oh the good old days!", remarks Spock sentimentally. "I am Vulcan! I must not feel such human emotion. But I am after all half human and Kirk does look hot in his tight, pants.
Fanning himself, Spock calms down and reads the guest list once more with greater calm.
" Scottie, Ohura, McCoy, Sulu, I can't be logical when I have Vulcan alzheimers' now can I? What's his name??" Pounding his head to will the information out no longer works. Spock has forgotten the Russian guy's name! Oh the shame of it all!!
Shaking his head, Spock continues down his guest list which includesFred Flinstone, Barney, Angelique, Tiny Tim, Dr. Smith, the Robot and Zorro. Remember not to invite the Klingons. They are party poopers.
"I have to bake the cake, Sulu will be in charge of the games and Scotty will be in charge of flash light tag."
Spock, being the logical one, put on his apron, speed reads the recipe for a 25 layer cake with icing and logically puts all the ingredients on the table.
"Let's see. I need flour, eggs, butter, oil and baking powder. What is the baking powder? It hardly seems like a logical ingredient. Hardly necessary to the making of a birthday cake. Hmm...How odd to add a dry powder to accomplish a rising of a cake but as the directions for the birthday cake call for baking powder, I must abide. Where is the blasted baking powder? I will use my Vulcan mind meld to bring the powder to me!"
"With my mind I shall see where the baking powder be!" Spock put his twofore fingers to his temples and willed the powder to him. It confused him for a minute and he was even more determined to get the blasted powder to make the birthday cake for Captain Kirk.
"Again!"
"Magic powder for my cake, come to me for I must bake!"
He again put his fingers to his temples to invoke the Vulcan mind meldto the object of his desire. A rumbling came from the cupboard, but not the kitchen cupboard. From a foreign source.
The gun room.
A bag of gun powder came flying up the elevator on its own volition.Past stunned crew member and others that knew Spock was in the kitchen baking again.
"Oh its that Spock again! Thinks he a wizard!"
"He is a wizard. A gay one! Don't tell anyone this but I think he has the hots for Captain Kirk. That's why he volunteers to bake for him. He would even pop out of the cake if Kirk asked him. Poor Spock!"
"That Spock sure is a queer eye for the space guy! I notice every time Kirk comes into the room Spock perks up if you know what I mean."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah. Like the French say, "Je ne sais quoi!!" (I don't know what is about it, but I like it, I like it!!)
Back in the kitchen....
The "powder" has arrived and landed on the kitchen counter. Spock is so busy mixing ingredients that he doesn't notice that the powder is not the right one for his cake. No matter. He logically and proficiently bakes the birthday cake for Captain Kirk. A special cake with 25 layers and a special cream icing from a special Vulcan recipe from long ago.
The aroma from the kitchen is wonderful and the cake is assembled and the frosting put on masterfully. No problems so far as Spock stares the birthday candles thinking of his beloved--Captain Kirk.
"Oh what a man! What a mighty mighty man!"
The guest start arriving in the party room with their gifts for the Captain. The music is playing and Sulu is organizing the party games. Pin the tail on the Vulcan, Twister, Hide and Seek and Musical Chairs.
One by one the guest list is confirmed:
All the guests have arrived and all is well.
When it comes time to play musical chairs, Captain Kirk and Spock are in the lead against Zorro, Barnabas, Angelique, Dino and Fred Flinstone. Zorro trips Barnabas and Barnabas bites Dino. Fred Flinstone quickly finds a seat while the music is playing as well as Zorro, Angelique, Captain Kirk and Spock. The rest are out this round.
Too bad.
The next round the music is faster. Around and around they go. Where the music stops nobody knows. One more chair is taken out. Captain Kirk hates Zorro and tries to stop him with his laser. Zorro counter Captain Kirk with his sword but only hits his pants. His pants fall down and Spock smiles. Angelique quickly finds a seat as the music stops as does Spock and Captain Kirk. Zorro is out this turn. Poor Zorro...
"I'll get you, Kirk!" Zorro declares.
"Yeah, right Zorro. You weenie!"
The next round is even faster. Around and around they go. Another chair is taken out. Spock keeps looking at the rip in Kirk's pants and he runs toward it, Kirk feels Spock's hands on his buttocks and turns around and gives Spock a punch in the jaw, Angelique hurries around as the music plays and plays. The music suddenly stops and Spock finds a seat as well as Kirk. Angelique is out.
The next round is for the championship. The music is even faster. There is only one chair left. Around and around they go. Where the music stops no one knows. Spock is using his mind meld to will Kirk to him. He puts his fingers to his temples and wills Kirk to come to him now! Kirk feels a strange sensation. It is foreign and strange. Does he like men? Hell no! He turns around and lets Spock have it with the laser. But Spock is oblivious to such pain. He has his handy dandy laser protector underwear on. No one can hurt his privates. And he smiles. Captain Kirk is coming to him. Yes right now. While the music plays..Around and Around the musical chairs. Kirk sits down as soon as the music stops.
Spock is out!
Spock runs over to wish Captain Kirk congratulations on winning and Kirk clobbers him over the head with a baseball bat.
Spock smiles.
"He loves me!!"
Fun and games are over and it is time for cake..
Spock turns out the lights and wheels his twenty-five layer cake to the party room, puts it on the table as the guest all sing "Happy Birthday" to Captain Kirk. After all, it's not every day a 65 year old man gets party games and a grand cake like this from a Vulcan!!
The cake is lit and Kirk gets ready to blow out all his candles when suddenly...
KA---BOOOOOM!!
And that is what happens when you mix up gun powder with baking powder!!
Good for a laughter and a good write. Sounds as if the party ended with a bang but while it was going on all things went smoothly til the end. Oh well, I love parties too and love the delicious sweet icing on the cakes too.
The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me is adult satirical humor featuring adult language and adult content, and the work is a parody of the Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy.
