Help

BY

Mary C. White

It had been a long day, a day filled with a broken relationship, anger and tears. All I wanted to do was escape from the pressures of daily living and reality, just for a little bit. I need to give myself time to evaluate the life imposing itself harshly on my poor weary spirit.  I yearned to  escape, to run away, but had no place to go. Instead I opted for sleep, the quick escape.

I dressed my bed in Satin Sheets, the same ones my husband loved, a present of shiny red fabric, a present to symbolize our love.

I climbed into bed after a quick shower.  I put on a silk nightgown. It offers the only luxury I can afford. Its material is comforting. Sleep refuses to come.  It is blocked by my thoughts. I can’t stop my mind from racing.  My mood is uncontrollable. I float between feelings of goodness, hate, and rage. The emotions laced within me fight against each other seeking solace.

The rage of one spurned makes itself know to me, it cannot be fulfilled now. I need relief from the fiery flames of betrayal torturing my heart and soul. I need escape from the emotions of death inflicting my mind, Tears fall recalling the word spoken by the man I loved, “Its over, goodbye.”  Her face, the face of his new love taunts me, her beauty, and coy smile are imbedded in my brain. Too think once she was my best friend brings another form of torture-the torture of a woman scorned twice. Happiness creeps in for a while, gone along with the thought of killing them both, murder is something forbidden, something that will bring the curse of hell upon me. A secret wish eases itself upward from my soul lacing my heart with bitterness, the request is answered.

 Suddenly things begin to change.  What I want to remember is no longer there. I feel like a hard wind has blown inside my mind removing the contents of its chambers with its immense breath. My blood is no longer circulating properly, it is running slow.  I am cold.  I grab the comforter from the bottom of the bed and pull it up around me. Still I cannot get warm.

My heartbeat is faint, its once thumping rhythm dulled by time, the threads of its drum worn down.

My ears are ringing it is the only sound I hear.

My eyes are glassed over by a gray fog. Everything I view is clouded.

I become a stilled form.

I am dead, my life is gone, I felt it slipping away.

I found the escape I needed.

The one who left me is crying now, so is his new girlfriend. They both feel guilty over my passing.

He will never be the same for I shall haunt him. I shall bother his mind till he seeks escape.

This time in death’s arms we will embrace. In death’s arms we shall be in love once more.

<the end>