Ronee' writes in her journal; she is understandably worried about her brother, Johnny, who is currently in the hospital.
Sunday, September 23, 2007 (first day of fall!), 5 a.m., D.S.T.~
Dear Journal~
Can't sleep, so I decided to write on my laptop, write an entry into my journal. I hope maman doesn't catch me awake; I'm apt to get into trouble...
I'm worried. Very worried. I'm worried because my brother Johnny is in the hospital, and judging from the hushed tones, the looks of concern from both maman and daddy, it must be bad, very bad news.
I was awakened very early yesterday morning by "Ginger" (that's Johnny's service dog) barking her head off. Daddy found Johnny sitting in his wheelchair, jerking spasmodically in a full-body seizure; when the seizure didn't stop after five minutes, daddy got scared, so he had my brother Richard call for an ambulance. It was terrifying.
Well, it turns out that Johnny didn't stop seizing until after he was given strong medications in the ER, and he spent most of yesterday unconscious. Well, yesterday evening he finally awoke, but he is still out in "La-La Land"; he's not altogether there, and the docs are afraid he may have some brain damage. Right now it doesn't look good; I wonder what they will tell us this morning when they call. It's terrifying to think about...
I have been praying extra hard for Johnny; he's already been through so much; he doesn't need any more drama in his life! It seems that all I've done since this happened is cry. My eyes are red and swollen, my sinuses are a wreck, and my head is killing me from bawling so much!
Rebekkah Cohen, our friend, isn't doing that good, but she is improving. It's a slow, day-to-day thing with her. Susie Callaway, last I knew, was still alive, but barely. Doctors aren't so sure about her outcome, but they think that Rebekkah has turned the corner; they think she's gonna' make it. I have been praying hard for them, too.
Rebekkah and Susie have been having problems; I guess they decided they couldn't stand anymore, so they signed a "suicide pact". That scares me. Why would anyone in their right mind do something so...drastic, so outlandish, so...stupid?? It's all so pointless!!
Yeah, everyone has problems, even I have problems, but I am not gonna' be stupid and try to end my life! I have too much living to do, and I am not as bad off as a lot of people! I may not walk that well like most people, I may have pain, bad pain, 24-7, I may take meds, I may have allergies or asthma, but my problems don't have me, and I happen to enjoy life! I have a good life, and I intend on making the most of it, even with all my health problems!
I have learned to rely on the strength of the Lord during my bad days; this is the only reason why I am where I am at today. Susie and Rebekkah need to do the same!
School is going okay, but I dropped out of ASS (Applied Social Studies); I hated it, absolutely loathed it. My teacher, Mr. Dunsmore, did not like me, and his class was something I couldn't handle. I am to start my regular history class come Monday; hopefully Mr. Gilson, the instructor of that class, will be much nicer than Mr. Dunsmore was! Mr. Dunsmore was, to put it mildly, a jerk with a capital J!
I have found out that I will be singing at the Grand Ole Opry right before the annual Grand Ole Opry Birthday Celebration. I haven't sung there in ages, it seems; to think of it is gonna' give me the heebie-jeebies! I always get nervous whenever I have to sing at the Grand Ole Opry; that is THE place to sing, and people keep saying if you've sung at the Opry, then you've made it big.
I may have made it, but I am certainly no superstar; I have a looooooooooooong way to go before I am even close to the caliber of talent that people like Loretta Lynn, Garth Brooks, Trisha Yearwood, Martina McBride, or Roy Clark have! Compared to them, I'm a nobody!!
I feel like I've been on for a while; but I've only been on less than fifteen minutes. Hmm. Strange.
I am going to have to make my kittycat, "Cajun", move; my feet are getting numb from her furry bulk. Excuse me; be right back---
"Cajun" is now giving me dirty looks; she loves lying on my feet! I don't mind it most of the time, but my feet were losing their feeling, so I had to make the cat get off them, so I don't lose all sensation in my feet! Now my feet are throbbing; they feel like pins and needles! GRR! Stupid cat!
At least she's not lying on my face like she's been known to do! There's nothing worse than to wake up feeling like you're suffocating, only to realize that you have a furry body lying across your face!
Physically, I'm feeling okay, but I have been having lots of problems with my fingers, my hands. I am due to have surgery on them sometime in the next year, probably right after Christmas vacation, the way things look now. Dr. Hansen, my arthritis doctor, wants me to have this done; she wanted me to have it done during the summer, but I told her no way, Jose'; wait until I'm back in school. Well, it's been scheduled for January 5, 2008, so at least I have several good months ahead of me before the surgery.
Once I have the surgery I won't be able to do nothing, nothing at all, until my hands and fingers heal! That is gonna' be a huge pain!!
I am now castless. I got the cast taken off just this past Monday; it feels good to be walking without that heavy weight on my foot! My foot is just about mended, but I am to be on my crutches for at least another week, just to be on the safe side.
I am more'n ready to ditch the crutches!!
It seems funny, but I spent most of my life on crutches and they never bothered me, but once I got on the canes, I have enjoyed the freedoms that my crutches never gave me. Now that I'm on the crutches, I feel so inhibited, and I wish I had my canes!!
Well, I am going to try to catch an hour of sleep before we get up to go to church, so I'm gonna' head out of here. Take care, dear Journal, and God bless! I will write in here again with more news; hopefully the news about Johnny (or Rebekkah or Susie) will be much better! Lord, I pray that it is! I don't think I could take any more drama!!
The Ronee' Files today have an impact on death and its natural coming versus its unnatural ending. From my standpoint, Johnny could be given death naturally because of his disability, but what Susie and Rebekkah are doing by signing a 'suicide pact' is selfish, nonsense, and cowardly when Johnny is lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life...these two girls need to be made to go to a funeral home and witness the embalming process and watch the prepared body go into the casket...they also need to be made to grab shovels and dig a six-foot grave and then they each need to give a eulogy of this dead person they watched of the embalming process...then let's see if they want to die unnaturally...you need to write a journal of this of Susie and Rebekkah being mandatory therapy for their 'illness' and sick thoughts...thanks for the letter today, Karen Lynn...be well, you and Karla.
I can sense better days ahead for both you and Johnny. And for Cajun, too. Let old Cajun sleep on your head, and she'll purr you a very peaceful lullaby!
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