"It seems that my world is falling apart at the seams..."
Monday, 24 September, 2007, Ivalo, Finland~
Dear Journal~
Terve! Miita kuuluu? Kiitos hyvas!
This is Sari Annike writing. I am sorry if I haven't written, but it seems that my world is falling apart at the seams.
Nik and I got into a huge argument; he's gone and left me. I have no idea where he might be; I'm terrified something might have happened to him.
I don't know who's going to help me with the children; physically, I am unable to deal with them, and I have gotten very frustrated. The only break I get is when I go to university classes, and then a neighbor watches the kids.
Nik usually watches the children, but he and I got into that fight (about money, no less, and also about the demands that my MS, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome bring on), and now I'm sitting here, tears running down my face and onto the keyboard.
Then I got that terrible e-mail from Louisiana Sandusky, my friend in America. Her son, Johnathon, is now in hospital, fighting for his life. Apparently he had a seizure of some kind, and he's not doing very well, according to her e-mail. She sounded very upset. I guess Johnny went into hospital on Saturday morning (early, early).
Johnny is now in the Intensive Care Unit; he is in critical condition. Doctors there are worried about his neurological signs; they say Johnny isn't really responding.
It doesn't sound good.
The weather outside matches my mood: grey, foggy, rainy, utterly miserable.
The children have not been helping. Erik has been suffering from the colic and it is hard to try to quiet him; he screams for hours at a time, and it gives me a headache. Birtta, meanwhile, is ever-curious: she keeps parroting the same questions over and over, like a broken phonograph, and I am about to go mad! She is constantly on the go, and she keeps trying to stir up new mischief.
I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to my beloved Nikolas. He and I have never had a cross word with each other; we've now been married for over a year, and I thought we had a good thing going between us.
Now he and I have one little fight, and he leaves me. I pray he isn't lying in gutter somewhere, drunk on ouzo, and I pray nothing bad has happened to him...he's been gone for almost a day now, and I'm getting very worried...
Or maybe Nik has found someone else--someone younger, someone more beautiful, someone more---healthy.
Maybe I've proven to be too much of a burden on him...
I have called the police; they are out looking for him now. I am expecting a phone call anytime regarding the whearabouts of my gadabout husband.
Well, hell, I'm crying again...I can't see for all the tears falling from my eyes. I will write in here again soon; until later, Nakemiin!
Sari is having a difficult time I pray that her beloved comes back to her, alot of people are having a hard time of it aren't they.
God Bless
Michelle~
Reviewed by chris stienstra
9/24/2007
My prayers are that Nik is alright. My thoughts are that once you find him you will both need to talk about more than the money. Yes, it can be difficult living with anyone who has Fibro, MS or chronic anything. However, it is much more difficult for the person who suffers from these diseases. My wife suffers from Fibro and it can be debilitating both physically and emotionally. I hope that Nik really understands the nature of these diseases and that he can cope with them. It is my sense, not knowing you, that Nik would be able to find anyone more beautiful than you. Your heart spoke thru your words in this posting and therre seems to a great deal of beauty within them. You and Nik are in my prayers.
My very best to you
chris
The country of Findland is my neighboor and this story reflects one of many, not all is fun and games in the world, and not everybody cares for others suffering in pain.
Well done, tell the world to wake up!
Georg
Painful to read; too much of this going on, arguements over money, leaving, the one left behind wondering where their partner is, the children screaming for attention, the frustration, the fear, the angery........and o, yes, the tears. Well done.
Karen,
I am so sorry to hear this news. Sending prayers to you and asking God to give you a reminder that God loves you and that your safe in His arms. No matter what happens you will be safe your kids and you are in Gods arms forever.
Hugs and Prayers your way.
Angela
A poignant story about letting go of a narcissist in your life. Have you ever been attacked FULL force by a narcissist? It's the closest thing to being stabbed over and over in the back.
