Tues., October 9, 2007, nearly 8 in the evening~

Dear Journal~

Johnny here. This won't be long, but I had to let you know that I'm out of the hospital; got out on Saturday.

I am feeling better, but I have to use my oxygen all the time now. My lungs aren't as strong anymore, and it doesn't take long for me to get out of breath. It's a scary feeling not being able to breathe. I'm also on breathing treatments and have to take pills to further help my lungs.

My doctor gave me some disturbing news before I got out: he thinks that I may have to end up needing a trache (breathing tube in the throat) and needing a ventilator. He says my lungs are really shot from the MD, and when I heard that, I began to cry. It's a sign that my disease is getting worse, and I don't want to think about that; I have too much left to do!

Mom and dad have to be extra careful when I go outside or am around other people, so that I won't get sick. The doctors say if I get a very bad cold or upper respiratory infection, I could very easily end up in the hospital, and I could very likely die. It's that serious.

I am trying to be positive, thinking of the blessings that I have gotten already, but it's hard when I have my breathing to think about. After all, breathing is compatable with life; one needs to breathe in order to live!

Oh, I don't have to worry about what will happen to me when I die (I will go to Heaven, and I'll meet Jesus Christ face to Face, plus I'll be healed of all my health problems!), but at the same time, I have to think about not getting sick, taking every precaution possible to ensure continued (good) health (or as good as it can be at this time), and it's enough to make me depressed.

I will be going back to school probably next week. Later this week I will be getting my annual flu shot; I'm not looking forward to that, but if I want to keep from getting the flu, I have to have it. I am too high risk; the flu (or any number of minor illnesses that are usually no problem for the average person) could be disasterous for me.

I did hear from Rebekkah; she is doing better, but she is worried about me. She has good reason to be: I am worried about me too. I don't like having this muscular dystrophy, and now that it's getting worse, I fear for my family, what they would do if I should die on them.

Well, I am going to go; getting sleepy. I am glad that I am home from the hospital; I don't have to worry about blood sticks or nurses bothering me for my vital signs or giving me my meds at all hours of the night or listening to patients moaning or hearing the stupid Code:Blue! alarms going off! And Ginger, my dog, is glad I am home too; she can spoil me by giving me slurpy doggie kisses that only she can do!

Take care and God bless!

~Love, your friend, Johnny Sandusky. :(