Saturday, November 3, 2007, 4:11 a.m., M.T., Alamagordo, New Mexico~

Dear Journal~

Sorry I haven't written in here in quite a while; been busy trying to get myself back together, still working hard to get stronger, trying to listen to the therapists, do my continuing round of physical torture--ah, er, THERAPY!!--, trying to find new clothes on a budget (tain't easy to do on what I'm livin' on).

This is Aurora Skydancer writing. (Who else can it be?? Certainly not my friend Raven Rainbow Hidesta or my other friend Beatrice Begay!) I hope this finds you well.

I am doing okay: good on some days, bad on others. I sometimes get depressed; still trying to get used to the phantom pain, having to walk on a fake leg, trying to get used to the fact that I've lost all that excess weight. I am a lot thinner, yes, yet I have all this loose skin hanging off me, and it really looks horrid!

I also have noticed that since the gastric bypass surgery I am losing my hair: it's gotten terribly thin, it's falling out in clumps; it looks like I have cancer; it's really scary to see! If it doesn't quit, I may end up having to purchase a wig (probably on E-Bay; do they even sell wigs on E-Bay??)!

I am trying to decide what to do about this disability poopoo: I have signed up to get it; I get a letter back from the SSI people telling me basically "I'm not disabled enough".

Yeah, RIGHT. I mean, look at me. I have a fake leg, I use a wheelchair (or crutches), I have breathin' problems (have to use oxygen at night as a precaution), and I am on scads of medication for various things (blood pressure, thyroid--it's underactive--, anemia, my lungs, diabetes, etc.), I am diabetic, and I'm "not disabled enough"?

It's enough to make me want to give up, do myself in.

I also find out that the free clinic I've been using for my medical care is fixin' to close ("budget cuts", they say). Budget cuts, my ASS! They just want to see us poor folk suffer all the more; they don't give a flyin' fuck about us!  As long as it doesn't involve their money, they're happy as clams--yeah, happy at fleecing the poor, elderly, or disabled who need things like the free medical clinics!

It's a travesty!!

I think I'm going to write Congress a letter, give them a piece of my mind; may even write to that asshole Bush, tell him a thing or two! He may be President, but he's about the stupidest one we've ever had! I can't stand him; he makes me ill! I can't wait for Election '08; I'm voting for that Osama bin Laden or whatever his name is!  (Aurora meant Obama Barack Hussein.)

Get the old garbage out, put the new faces in: we Americans are due for a change from this corrupt government we currently have! Democrats all the way!!

And don't get me started on the immigration debate! Whoo-mama, you don't want to hear what I have to say about THAT. And I have plenty to say!!

'Course, I wouldn't mind seeing ol' whatshername, Hillary Clinton, get in; we need a woman president; think she'd be a good one! :)

Well, politickle agendas aside, I am trying to while away my days, not go stir crazy about the government or my stupid SSI/disability, trying to get my health back. It's not easy, yet I'm doing it, one painfully slow step at a time.

Well, gotta' go; getting sleepy. It's not even four thirty yet (almost, not quite); I'm getting stupid. I will write in here again soon; take care and may the Great Spirit richly bless you!

~Aurora Skydancer. :)