Activate your imagination and picture a scene something like a chat show....
'Hi Everyone, well tonight on the Chat Show From Hell, we have a very special guest celebrity. Even the Rolling Stones have sung about him! Most of you will never have seen him, or met him, but, believe me you will most certainly know him!
It seems, for most of existence he has been the subject of some very unfortunate, extremely bad reviews and also a mass of bad press too!
We were contacted by his newly appointed P.R. Man, a Man you all know as well...Ladies and Gentlemen please give a hot welcome to the Devil himself, P.R. Man Extraordinaire....Satan!!!!!'
Satan comes on stage like a sleazy P.R. man and says,
'Now look, I get a pretty bad press myself, but really you know I'm just a Party Animal. But enough of me! Ladies, Gentlemen and All Souls, my first and at present only client...please give a hot ooops warm welcome for the one and only, recently back from a global tour with sadly, no rave reviews. Few if any know of his gravely singing voice and first the first time time ever on any World Stage I give you Death 101 - Rapper Extraordinaire...
Cue Music:
I know that you don't like me much
And that makes me so sad
I cannot say I dislike you for if I did I'm Bad!
And Bad I am, The Bad Ass 1, The Bad Ass Number One, The Number One in Bad Asses, Yo! I'm called Death 101!
You see me come if you run like Hell
You'll damage all your joints
And that ain't very good for you
And what would be the point?
You should come embrace me
For I don't kill you off
I'm only there to greet you
When you're ready and when you're not!
And Bad I am, The Bad Ass 1, The Bad Ass Number One, The Number One in Bad Asses, Yo! I'm called Death 101!
And when you're not you can't blame me
'Cos that ain't very fair
I've only come to say, 'Hello! Would you like to go to ...where?
Where to go and when to leave
You cannot know right now
You'll only know when you get there
And I might be just where?
And Bad I am, The Bad Ass 1, The Bad Ass Number One, The Number One in Bad Asses, Yo! I'm called Death 101!
Whenever you are ready
Whether you think so, or not
I'm only there to say 'Hello!
'Let's face it, I ain't HOT!
Well not hot like they thinks below
When they meet me you see
The temperature is normal
So you can be at ease!
And Bad I am, The Bad Ass 1, The Bad Ass Number One, The Number One in Bad Asses, Yo! I'm called Death 101!
I will not chop your head right off
You might be passing by
If so come back here anytime
And speak to this lonely guy!
I never go to parties
Nor round to friends for tea
Or just hang out, do stoopid stuff
No one wants to party with me!
And Bad I am, The Bad Ass 1, The Bad Ass Number One, The Number One in Bad Asses, Yo! I'm called Death 101!
Even when I'm shopping
The people look and stare
Would there be more reaction
If they saw me bare?
Now there's a thang
What would they think
I wonder what they'd do
If now and then I would appear
In my Birthday Suit!
And Bad I am, The Bad Ass 1, The Bad Ass Number One, The Number One in Bad Asses, Yo! I'm called Death 101!
They'd never guess just who I was
And even if I'd say
'Coo-eee! I'm Death, I'm starkers!'
The cops would haul me away!
I'd say to them, 'I'm Death I am!'
Don't think they'd be impressed!
They'd leave me in their cells they would
In my state of undress!
And Bad I am, The Bad Ass 1, The Bad Ass Number One, The Number One in Bad Asses, Yo! I'm called Death 101!
So I won't go round skyclad
See I speak Wiccan too
In fact I speak all languages
Even the animal's in the Zoo!
I don't mean to sneak up on you
For I'm just standing there
Waiting for the next in line
It stretches down the stairs!
And Bad I am, The Bad Ass 1, The Bad Ass Number One, The Number One in Bad Asses, Yo! I'm called Death 101!
And through The Lounge and Vestibule
Into the Streets below
Then down into the Subway
Where's it end, well I don't know!
I'm only there to greet you
And then we say, 'Good Bye!'
Death 101 is here right now
I'm just your regular guy!
And Bad I am, The Bad Ass 1, The Bad Ass Number One, The Number One in Bad Asses, Yo! I'm called Death 101!
Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II is adult literature featuring adult language and situations that satirizes thirteen famous novellas and short stories. It is Jay Dubya's sixteenth ebook.
A humorous look at the world and life through my eyes.
Follow the author and his wife, as they travel the world …. several times over.
Laugh at their funny stories, self-inflicted crazy events, strange observations, wacky zoo facts and snippets
