A man is devastated because his mother refuses to accept his newly adopted daughter from China, who was born handicapped.
No matter how hard I try to explain things, Mother refuses to budge. Mother refuses to acknowledge Harley Nichole as her granddaughter.
My name is Grant Bridges. I am a single father to two children, a boy, Tevin Roderick (eight) and a girl, Harley Nichole (six), whom I just added to the family several months ago. Harley was adopted from China.
Harley was born handicapped. She was born with spina bifida that's left her lower half paralyzed and relying on a wheelchair (or crutches and leg braces) to get around.
I think that's the part that's scaring Mother. I guess Mother thinks that if she falls, that's it, that will be the end of her. She's always harping at me because I let her try things out, take risks; but I keep telling her I can't keep coddling her, protecting her like she's made out of glass! She's not made out of china; she's a human being, a kid, and kids are naturally curious, adventurous!
I also keep telling mother that Harley is as much her grandchild as is her brother; yet Mother can't see past the "China-ness", past Harley's long, shiny black hair, round, yellow-tan moon face, snub nose, or her slanty eyes. As far as Mother is concerned, she's nothing more than a foreigner; and I had no business in adopting her as my child.
Mother keeps telling me to send Harley back to China, where she came from, where she belongs; she isn't her grandchild, and she will never be.
As you can imagine, the accusations she makes hurt. Hurt deep. Mother doesn't understand that Harley's spent most of her brief life in either hospitals or institutions; nobody wanted her because she was born with a serious disability; yet I saw the potential in this child; I wanted her, and so I adopted her. Nothing can change that, and right now Mother and I are not much on speaking terms.
This past Christmas was nearly ruined because Mother kept making snide jabs about Harley to me, right in front of her, and I am sure the child was wondering what was going on, why grandma doesn't love her like I or Tevin do. It really upset me, and I was more than ready to break ties off with my mother because of her attitude towards Harley.
Ever since then, the accusations have only gotten worse, and now I get threatening phone calls every day from Mother, saying that she's going to have Harley taken away and returned to China. If anything were to happen to Harley, I don't think I could ever forgive Mother--or live with myself! I love my daughter, and she is as much my own child as is Tevin.
So what if Harley isn't "perfect". So what if Harley's handicapped. She is still my daughter, and she will always be!!
I will be writing to keep you up to date on the situation at hand. It is not an easy time for me right now, and I am more than ready to disown my mother because of her narrowmindedness!
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Reviewed by Tammie Knight
1/17/2008
Karen,
I hear you loud and clear and I fight for justice everyday for these types of kids. We are their only advocates and I for one will always show the way when it comes to the disabled regardless of who itis, family included!
Powerful write, sometimes we are blinded by our own predjudice that we forget the compassion we are supposed to show towards others, I hope I do not ever act as this mans Mother does though.
God Bless
Michelle~
Some people are prejudiced about handicap children. All children should be treated equally as each of them possess special quality. My daughter has adopted an African little girl. They have sent us her picture and she is absolutely adorable. She gives us so much joy even we are so far apart.
I have an adopted daughter with spina bifida. She is a total cherub and our lives would be so incredibly empty without her. She is definitely a ray of sunshine to all around her. Our families have been so supportive of our decision to adopt and we are so grateful for that, but even if they weren't... Ultimately they are the ones that would lose.
Cryssa
Sure it was Grand's mother? it sounds like what mine would do...
Cuddle the little one and kick the witch out if she doesn't behave.
But that's only me.
Georg
A poignant story about letting go of a narcissist in your life. Have you ever been attacked FULL force by a narcissist? It's the closest thing to being stabbed over and over in the back.
Spoken Word
This CD will touch the deepest inner part of your humanness and spirit, you will never be the same after listening to the depths of struggle, the reality of life, the touching voice of truth. It will shock you, move you to tears. It w
Spoken Word
This CD will touch the deepest inner part of your humanness and spirit, you will never be the same after listening to the depths of struggle, the reality of life, the touching voice of truth. It will shock you, move you to tears. It w
