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Dawn Anderson

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Submersion
by Dawn Anderson
Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Rated "PG" by the Author.

       
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     This is a short story of mine that has been published on The Far Side of Midnight's website... an online magazine that specializes in dark, speculative fiction.

Submersion


By: Dawn Wilson


 


She sat on a chair in the den reading a book, but was unable to concentrate.  Her eyes continuously drifted to where he sat sleeping in front of the television, his head thrown back, his mouth slightly open.  His right shoulder was pressed against the arm of the sofa, and his left hand was thrown across the dog as it lay sleeping beside him.  He desperately needed a haircut, and as she lowered her eyes, she caught sight of his big toe poking through a hole in his sock.


           


Something suddenly caught her eye and she gasped, causing him to jump.  “Spider!”  She pointed to the floor as it quickly scurried across. 


           


He leaned forward, picked up his slipper, and smacked it.  After tossing the slipper back to the floor, he reached for the remote control.


           


She looked at the spider lying there dead.  “Are you just going to leave it there?”


           


He stared at her for a long moment with that smirk on his face she had come to despise in recent months, then slowly walked into the kitchen to get a napkin.  After picking the spider up, he lay down on the couch and began to channel surf, holding the crumpled napkin in his hand. 


           


Looking at him in disgust, she snapped her book shut.  “I’m going to bed.”


           


“I’ll be there in a little while,” he said, never once looking at her.


           


She wanted to say, “Don’t do me any favors,” but felt tired of arguing.  It seemed as though that’s all they ever did, unless they had one of their major blowouts.  Then they’d give each other the silent treatment for a few days, until one of them finally broke down and spoke first.


           


She went upstairs into the bathroom, stepping over his work clothes, underpants, socks, and the towel he used after his shower.  I could kill him, she thought looking at the mess on the floor.  It wasn’t the first time she had such thoughts.  She filled the bathtub with hot water, and added a generous capful of bath oil.  There has to be a way.  There’s got to be! 


           


As she stepped out of her clothes, she determined to end their relationship and finish the rest of her life without him.  She turned off the water and smiled as a plan slowly began to unfold in her mind.  Stepping into the tub, she reached for the shower curtain as she slipped, hitting her head hard on the side of the tub, knocking herself unconscious.  Lying completely submerged for several minutes, he was no longer a part of her life.


 


 


copyright © Far Side of Midnight Jan 15, - Apr 15, 2008

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Reviewed by Elizabeth Russo 6/20/2010
Sadly all too real, but that ending was definitely a surprise! Well done Dawn! ~Hugs, Elizabeth
Reviewed by Sheila Roy 8/11/2009
A great twist at the end of this one. Well done!
Sheila
Reviewed by Shilpa Edward 6/26/2009
This is an awesome short story.
The delima to find a way out..but surely this was not she had in mind.
Strange are the ways to get out of someones life.
Liked it a lot...
Reviewed by Poetess of The Soul Sheila G 4/26/2008
This is a super REAL story, the descriptions all life like and that's what brings this story all together!
Many of us had those silent and mean nasty feelings spoken without the words! Etc. This brought a lot back up to the surface! Great writer you are! Full of details and action! I love spiders tho! I was the Black Widow for Halloween with spiders (life like) hanging off me. I had fun! :)
So, did she wake and just slip in for a bit...
When I read the end, I thought of Karma, she thought bad thoughts and now bad was happening in her direction to her!
Write On!
Warmest Blessings and Inner Peace, Warrior Purple Lady Shexooo

STay Positive!
STay STrong!
Reviewed by L Hippler 1/20/2008
I almost missed this one, Dawn. But I'm glad I found it.
I loved the realism, the spider, the hole in the sock. Completely believable all the way through. If this is a sample of Autumn Leaves, I need to get it.
Larry
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 1/18/2008
Excellent story...well done!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Kathy Armijo 1/16/2008
Karma is the first word that came to mind. Interestingly, what we despise in others is often times our biggest flaw. I know mine is.
Moral of the story - don't take a bath if you're planning something devious. lol

God bless you. Kathy
Reviewed by Felix Perry 1/16/2008
I loved this postcard story that says so much in the language of the common person...I like how she seems to find all his flaws that weren't there yesterday yet manages to not look in a mirror at her own shortcomings. Well done and catchy

Fee
Reviewed by Ed J. 1/16/2008
I don't normally read short stories, but I couldn't resist. I love your detialed realism and depictions of mind games played in a relationship that you convey so well. Thanks for sharing.

Very well done!

Ed
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton 1/16/2008
Gotta love it . . . For a moment I was thinking this was a part of your wonderful novel which I am reading called "Autumn Leaves," until the ending . . .
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 1/16/2008
Good story, Dawn; very well penned! BRAVA!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D

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