Hello! How are you doing? Hope this finds you well.

This is Fahid Al-Mahood writing. I am sorry for not writing; university has taken up a goodly portion of my time, as has raising my son, Amir, Jr., who is now nearing the age of six. Seems hard to believe that he's now in kindergarten!

I have been attending college for two years now, and I enjoy my classes. I have made many friends; all of a sudden I don't feel so alone, so...scared!

It hasn't been easy: still embarrassed about my disfigured face, also burn scars covering my neck, shoulders, chest, arms. I look horrid; I resemble a monster! However some people have learned to accept me even with my disabilities, and for that I am truly grateful.

I am still practicing Islam; however, I am becoming more dissatisfied with it. I see it is not a religion of peace as it so claims: it is a religion that uses violence and hatred in the name of religion, and I am ashamed to be associated with it. I may very well end up converting to Christianity before too long; have been studying about it, and I must find out more about this Jesus-Man; he seems to be a man of peace!

Peace is one thing I don't feel in my heart. It's no wonder I have been so scared all these years!

I still follow the news, watch the latest happenings from my former home in Iraq. People still fighting, being killed, everything in disarray, confusion. I wonder what is going to happen; too many innocent people dying at the hands of insurgents! I cry every night for my Iraqi people, my homeland; I wonder what is going to become of her...it's too frightening to even think about!

I don't leave my house except to go to store, to university, to pick up my son from kindergarten. Otherwise, I stay home; feel it is better if people don't see me. The people see me, they stare, make comments, and I run in shame back to my home; I am a prisoner in my own home, my own body!

The only time I see people is when my university friends come over to study, or if Louisiana Sandusky comes by, which she does on occasion. She still thinks about me, brings me books to read, even some magazines or coupons for the foods I like. That's very nice of her; yet she has her own life; so I don't try to bother her with my own troubles.

My ex husband Amir Sr. has been in prison for two years, still has eight years to go. I don't even go see him; I am afraid to face him, for fear he will try to harm me again, try to take away Amir, Jr. from me; I don't think I could live with that if anything were to happen to my baby boy!! I'd probably go mad!

My husband tried to burn me alive after he caught me talking to the mailman; he was always the very jealous type. He wouldn't let me see anybody, do anything, leave the house. He had hit me before in anger; this wasn't the first time he mistreated me.

This is why he is now in jail: to pay for what he has done to me.

Somehow I don't think it's enough. He needs to be in there a lot longer than what he was sentenced for!

Well, I have to leave for university in a half hour; will return home sometime later this afternoon. I will write in here again soon. Take care and so long for now!

~Fahid Al-Mahood. :(