Aurora writes in her journal, the first time she's been able to in several months; she keeps us informed as to what's been going on with her.
Photo (c) 2006, Karla Dorman.
Tuesday, Feb. 26, 2008, Alamogordo, New Mexico, 2:21 a.m., M.T.~
Dear Journal~
Holy moley, I just realized what date it is. Was going through my journal, realized I haven't written in here since the beginning of November of last year, November 3rd, to be exact. It's now February 26, 2008. Geez, where's my head been lately??
I swear I'm getting Alzheimer's disease...just what I don't need, on top of all my other medical problems!!
Still fighting my stupid disability claim: been denied again!! Same old bullcrap: "not disabled enough" (Aurora says with a hint of sarcasm in her voice)! It's crazy!!
I'm tired of arguing with my doctors, tired of fighting with the bone-ass government we currently have!! Some days I wish I could just--well, I won't say what I was thinking, but it certainly wasn't very nice!! GRRRR!!!!
Aurora Skydancer here. I hope you've been okay. Me, I ain't worth a can of refried beans. My health has been the shitz lately. Was in the hospital over Thanksgiving and again right after Christmas; my diabetes decided to act up on me; now I get insulin shots twice a day, and even when I meticulously watch what I eat and check my blood suger every few hours, my diabetes still acts up.
My diabetes is the brittle kind: hard, awful' hard to control. Very frustrating!! Had another insulin reaction yesterday afternoon while at the store; thought I was gonna' pass out in front of everyone! It was scary; but when the clerk saw my predicament, he got me some candy and a Coke; and in a few minutes I was fine.
I was too upset to shop anymore, so I had Bea (Beatrice Begay), my friend, drive me home. I then went to bed, where I slept a good part of the afternoon while she put up my groceries for me.
I guess she stayed with me for a while until she made sure I was gonna be okay; when I woke up, she was gone. I guess she went back home.
At least I have a little food, so at least I won't starve!
I just wonder what nasty tricks my stupid diabetes is gonna throw at me today....hard tellin'!!
One day, my sugar's low; the next, it's higher'n a kite. When I'm low, I get weak, sweaty, and shaky; when high, I get stupid, lethargic, am hard to rouse.
I also get spells where I pass out. My heart ain't worth a whole one; have CHF, hard to breathe, get around sometimes. The last time I passed out (last week), I nearly broke my crutch in half when I landed on it. I still have a pretty bruise on my hip; it's a wonder I didn't break my hip (or my crutch) when I fell!!
It's getting to the point where I'm scared to leave the house, for fear of how my body's gonna betray me--again.
Very depressing! Oh, that's another thing. I'm nearly out of my Prozac, gonna' have to argue with the pharmacist to get that too. The last time I tried to get it refilled, all they did was argue with me. Never did get it because I was too upset; I just went without, and I was an emotional wreck. Anything could get me to tears. It was awful!
Well, Beatrice's friend heard about my predicament, so she gave me some money to where I was able to get my medicine; I'm now good for several months now.
The weather here has been dry, cold. Some parts of Arizona have had lots of snow; here we only have wind and the danger of fires. Sometimes I can smell smoke in the air; wonder what I would have to do if I were to evacuate. Don't have any transportation, live in the middle of BFE (Bum fu__ing Egypt), get around on crutches--hard for me to get away if it were ever to come to that situation.
Very disconcerting to think about....
I'm so sick of wind and the fire danger I could just spit bricks!!
Well, I'm getting stupid (getting sleepy), so I'll hang this up. I will write again when I'm able; hopefully I'll have much better news regarding my disability crap, my diabetes/health, and other things. Lord, I hope so, I could use a break from all this bad news going on in my world!!
Hey Super Star! Don't let mortalese get you down. Look into NEEM.. Just look ti up. I take it twice a day...It nay help but it may not but at least tread it!
Well well, if a disability is stupid...all those brain dead trying to sweep the disable people under the carpet must be stupid as well!!!
Someone said to me once that going on Prozac and listening to elevator's muzak was the peak of the day for him, his illness apparently had to take a back chair, he just laughed at it.
And Aurora, you aren't stupid...just tired.
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