I have visited my daughter, my beautiful daughter, three different times, and each time I see something bad happening to her.  I see no improvement in her condition;  it really bothers me.

Ever since she had the aneurysm over a year ago, Suzanne's been in a comalike state.  No response to most commands, she just lies there like a human lump, eyes halfway open, not giving any indication that she even knows what's going on around her--or to herself.

Tubes continue to keep her nourished, antibiotics are given at any sign of infection, fever, wastes are pulled from her body, doctors continue to run their tests on her, to see if there's been any change in her condition.

It doesn't look like there's been any.  She's been in the same boat since her aneurysm attack.  One minute she was at school, laughing, joking with friends; the next, she was found on the floor in the girl's restroom, unconscious, not moving.

I've been visiting her less now than I was.  I know it doesn't seem right; however, I've gotten discouraged at the care she's been getting.  Oh, the nurses are great with her; it's the damn doctors I have problems with.  Every time they do their tests on her, they offer no hope for recovery; they tell me she's going to remain in this present state she's currently in.

Very discouraging, enough to drive me to want to hurt someone with my bare hands--or possibly murder. 

Every day, the nurses bathe her, try to keep her looking her best, even with the tubes invading her emaciated body, keep her diapers clean, so her wastes don't get on the skin, causing possibly serious complications/infections, thus, sending her recovery further back.  They change her IV lines with the greatest of care, cautious as to not to hurt her (Suzanne doesn't even flinch as the needles pierce her skin or alcohol is rubbed prior to the needles going into her veins).

They keep constant tabs on her vital signs: pulse, respiration rate, temperature, blood pressure.  If there's a problem, they jump right on it, hoping for a miracle, hoping that she'll stay alive another day.

Must be working because Suzanne's still here.  Barely, but still alive, nevertheless; it still gives me a sense of hope.  Maybe I'm expecting too much out of her recovery; however, as her mother, I can't give up on my child, no not yet.  There's always a chance for an unexpected miracle.

Well, it's time for me to get some sleep; hopefully Suzanne will have another good night.  The last few nights have been good for her (days, too); not too many complications other than slight fevers (which are taken care of by liquid children's Tylenol, which is squirted into her stomach tube every four hours, along with her other medications).

I pray this will continue; I can't afford to hear any more bad news!!  I've heard way too much now; I'm ready for a change in her recovery! 

Seeing my baby daughter lying so helpless in that bed, tubes and monitors hooked up to her everywhere, is probably the greatest nightmare any parent can experience, especially since the damned doctors have given up all hope on her!

That's probably the worst thing about this whole scenario! 

Will keep you up to date regarding her prognosis; right now, things look very iffy at best.

~Written by Suzanne's mom, on March 8, 2008. :(

~End of Part Three.~