In March “06” Jeff my husband and I got a phone call from our daughter. “DSS” (Department of Social Services) in Iron Mountain, Mi, has removed my kids,” she tells us. Can you come get them, to keep them out of foster care. We did exactly that.

My youngest son beginning to walk his journey of career in the Air Force, we were basically free of kids, now we had two little landing at our doorstep.

We made the drive six hours away alone, went to court and on the way home we had two little ones our granddaughters, we barely knew.

DSS came to our home inspected it, we set up all the things required and requested in order to take care of these little ones. We complied with all the courts request, made the journey several times for their mother to see them, and she did the same, the only difference being, we had to stay in a motel when we went to Iron Mountain, she came only for a day to see these two little ones.

Then, DSS and the court system, terminated her rights; she just could not get her life in order to take care of her kids. Then, she got pregnant with her third, Robin Mary.

She then signed papers to let us have Robin Mary, so now we had three, from the ages of 4, 2, and 19 days old.

Robin Mary, was diagnosed with RSVP, so we had to make trips to Saginaw and still maintain a household and getting the two little ones in school. Jeff would spend the nights at the hospital and in the day time, I would drive to Saginaw and stay with RM, while he caught up on sleep, meals and his daily grooming.

Then, the Odawa Indian Tribe took Robin Mary with her parents permission, for they still had rights.

Up until July, “07”, I was primary caretaker of these two little ones; even after we lost Robin Mary to her aunt and uncle.

 I tried to sit Jeff my husband down and asked him to start staying home more, I was trying to maintain a house, take care of these little ones and go to school to go into Criminal Justice.

I could not do it alone, so I decided I did want to be married to a man, who felt the bottle and his friends were more important. He would not let me take the girls, but promised me I could see them anytime I wanted. I probably could not have taken care and given them the things they needed, so I agreed.

Now, it is March 18, 2008, I have only got to see these two little ones, twice, only when he decided, it was fit. He has even tried to tell me DSS and their mother, does feel I am fit to see or have these little ones for the weekend.

I alone have made trips to Iron Mountain, to see my daughter in jail and Robin Mary. Denise and Wess who have Robin Mary have been very generous in letting me see her, while our daughter’s father has not once been up to see her, or Robin Mary since we have separated.

I even put money in Nakkeya’s account while she was incarcerated, but once she got out, she has only spoke to me once and I have not got to see Robin Mary.

Anyone who has walked this painful journey I feel for you. I was married to Jeff for seventeen years, and he has seen what my son’s father did to me, out of cruelty, and I never thought he would be doing the same thing.

DSS is going to grant Jeff adopting these two little ones, Wess and Denise are going to adopt Robin Mary for her parent’s rights are soon to be terminated.

Humans can be so cruel to each other, and if they only knew what they were doing to little ones, who don’t get to see their loved ones.

The thought and hope of getting to see these little ones, my true friends, taking my online classes to finish my degree in Criminal Justice and my full time job at Thompson’s Linen Service, in Alpena, Michigan is what is keeping me going.

But, the question remains, how can humans be so cruel to each other, when there is so much kindness and love and it’s not that hard to give.

This is where the lack of trust of someone comes in, so keeping my heart sheltered has been a strong force.

I even let myself care for someone awhile back, we even committed to cells phones together, then I found he was calling other women, even his ex-girlfriend, while he was telling me I was the only one in his life and he loved me. And, people wonder why, I keep this shell around me, for I just don’t think I could take another disappointment in my life at this time, but all the lessons, I have learned from walking this journey has made me stronger, wiser and hopefully can help someone else, that is walking the journey of cruelty.