PREFACE

 Children, home, bills, etc. are often a concern under the best circumstances, but when your going through it alone it can be insane on a daily basis.  Our goal in this endeavor is to provide a twelve and one half step plan for those of you who find yourselves similarly challenged and through honesty and humor remember… ‘This too shall pass.”

     The following information is a humorous look at single mothering… with its trials and tribulations mixed with the joy and laughter of life.  If we do not face the challenges of our lives with healthy laughter we will drown in our own tears.

     Parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever love.

There is o other job you will ever do that generates more passion, pride, or pain.  It’s a lifetime commitment that is filled with tears.  We cry for joy when they are born; we cry with pride at all their accomplishments; and we cry from pain brought on by all their disappointments and our own.

     This book has been written for all the single mom’s out there that simply need a little boost to keep them going…and of course…

We need the money!

CHAPTER ONE:

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE FINANCIALLY

CHALLENGED?

Most separated or divorced woman find themselves suddenly – well - broke.  Their income is decreased to about one fourth of what it was.  The irony is she will most often have the sole responsibility of the children and HIS only responsibility is to “find himself”.  How wonderful for him that while he is searching for the child within, we are dealing with the child without: without shoes, without lunch money, without braces…

     Your first step in this chapter is to simply ask yourself, “Am I financially challenged?” Here are some clues to help you answer that question.

     You know you are financially challenged when:

1.  Your income is al least one half of your financial obligation.

Clues are:

A.    Variations of beans and rice are served at least four times a week and spaghetti without meat fill up the rest of the menu.

B.    Boxed cereal is considered a luxury item and you are forced to cook hot breakfast…I.E. oatmeal.  (Too bad it’s not sold in bulk).

C.    Patches on patches become fashionable.

2.  The number of late payments in your mailbox supersedes your junk mail and the stack is tall enough to block the view of your youngest child.

3.  The paper trail consists of applications for:

Free lunches

Fee Waivers

W.I.C.

Food Stamps

Second jobs (sometimes, third jobs too)

Reduced housing benefits

4.  Your social event of the month is the conversations and recipes shared in the free cheese lines. (Cheese goes well with beans, rice and spaghetti, and also adds color to any meal).

5.  Your highlights are:

A.    Your food stamps are reduced by fifty dollars due to a five-dollar increase in your wages.  (Tip: Do not report all your tips).

B.    There are actually edible leftovers that are not consumed by grazing children in the first twelve hours after the meal.

C.    Your clothes DO come clean using a half-cup of laundry soap.

D.    Your car is running on fumes and it makes it to the gas station on payday.

These are the days when you feel like you are living right and that there truly is a god.  He may only be smiling down on you for just that one moment, but we’ll take it, right ladies?

     We have to remember to recognize those days and/or moments when they come along or we will simple let them pass us by without a moment of gratitude.  We live for and dream of those times and, hope to see them more frequently just because we deserve them.

     Now that you have discovered you ARE financially challenged (by reading the previous information provided for you) dry your tears and suck it up and lets help you get through this.  Or just feel better knowing that there is a crap load of us in the same boat!

     Hopefully, unlike the Titanic, we will have enough lifeboats to keep us afloat.  If not, we will enforce the belief that………………

WOMEN AND CHILDREN ARE FIRST!

     Being financial challenged is a true test of your abilities to endure in all situations.  Finances are the main source of stress for us single mothers (well, at least until your kids become teenagers).  We can try to juggle this problem yet most often fall short of success, as there is simply not enough money to go around.

     Faith and will power is probably the only thing that will get you through these hard times, except of course, the love for your children.  We would go through fire and brimstone for our kids and in fact we do!  It’s not their fault we are in this kind of situation, but it is because of them we will fight to get out of it.

     They didn’t ask to have their parents split up (or to even get together for that fact), and they didn’t volunteer for being temporarily impoverished.  It is a good mama’s job to see to it that we get out of that situation as soon as possible and fake the kids out so they don’t know they’re in it in the first place.  A note on welfare – use it for what it is intended then get up onto your own two feet. We have not found a single ounce of dignity in being supported long term by the federal government. Use welfare as a hand up - no one needs the shame of continuous hand-outs, especially us powerful women! This can be achieved with loads of hard work and an extremely clever mind. (See chapter three for more helpful hints) It is lucky for us we are genetically programmed for this situation.

     This doesn’t mean however, that we have all the answers, just hopefully that our kids think that we do.  For mom to always be right is important for a small child to believe.  It makes them feel more secure, however, when they become teenagers we need to be able to admit when we are wrong while keeping control over their youthful stubbornness. At this stage of development, they lose all thought for reason, so honestly and simply say, “Sorry, I’m broke!  You won’t be able to get a new skateboard this month and that’s that!”  If all else fails, threaten to ground the little bugger.

(This usually gets them to shush up). Make sure to always explain as best you can and then leave it at that.  You must do what is best for the family as a whole.  This philosophy is great for building character in your older children. I don’t know about yours, but our kids are quite the characters!