Omigosh I have to be at work in like thirty minutes AND MY DARN BEATUP OLD TRUCK AS USUAL ISN'T WORKING.  I rush over to my boyfriend Biff's apartment and pound the door. 

"BIFF," I shout.  "I NEED TO A RIDE TO WORK.  ARE YOU THERE?"

Biff like opens the door, half awake, rubbing his heads.  "Fif what is it? I was taking a......... nap."

Just as I'm about to open my mouth, I hear  a 'female' voice.  Biff I'm gonna get a drink.  Who's out there?"

I push Biff aside as he shouts "FIFI,"and look inside the door.  I see a young tall brunette coming back from the kitchen with a diet coke in her hand.

She looks at me and smiles.  "So your Biff's friend.  Maybe all three of us can have some fun together."

I go outside and give Biff an angry stare as he puts his hands over his eyes.

"Look Fif she's just a friend.  She came back to give me my wallet because I left it at the club last night.  She works there."

"What club are you talking about Biff?"

"I'd rather not say.  Karla can you split?"

Karla just walked out, looked at us, said nothing, and took off.

"OK Biff I'm not gonna say nothing," I mutter.  "I know you're real popular and that's why we can only be close friends."

"Come on Fifi, those girls I'm with are just real friends.  Nothing happens between us.  You're the one I want to be with."

"Just don't say any more and take me to work.  My darn truck broke down and I'm already gonna be late, especially with this darn LA traffic."

Sure Fifi, let's go."  We get in Biff's car, a sporty looking Japanese import,  and head to Jimmy's, the coffeshop where I work.  I just keep my arms folded and say nothing as we get off of Van Nuys Blvd and onto Sherman Way when some.....IDIOT cuts right in front off us and Biff makes a hard swerve to the right and into.....a telephone pole.

The next thing you know I'm waking up in a nice green place where theres all kinds of fields and streams and.......WHERE THE HECK AM I?

And as I'm saying that this beautiful angel with big white wings comes out of nowhere and who else is it but....ALOCKI.

"Alocki where the heck am I?"

"It is the other 'world.' Fifi.  You were not so fortunate in that accident."

"Oh man I'm still only in my twenties and it's already over.  How about Biff?  Is he over here somewhere? 

"He survived.  He has cuts and bruises.  He is being taken to the hospital."

I walk around the place and see all the lush green fields and green trees and nice freshwater streams and say. "So this is just as how I thought it would look.  Only I just wish I was on Earth a little longer."

Alocki pointed to the ground and a huge like 'viewing screen' came out of nowhere.  In it I saw like a vast desert wasteland.  "Fifi I wish to point because perhaps you knew me and perhaps because you attended services every Sunday when you lived on Earth you did not go here."

"Is that.....?"

"No it is the in between place called 'purgatory' where the vast majority of souls go and need to stay awhile and cleanse themselves of all their tempatations before.......they come here.  You are fortunate."

I got a little excited.  "What's that other place look like?"

"I will show you."

Alocki pointed her hand to another part of the ground and another large viewing screen appeared.  "This time it showed a real fiery hot looking place.....and the STENCH AND SMELL WERE UNBELIEVABLE."

I put my handkerchef to my nose.  "Omigosh Alocki what is that stink?"

Alocki looked at me.  "It is sulfur."

The next thing you know HE appears in the viewing screen.  He's like ten feet tall, all muscular like, red skin, horns growing on top.......

"HAHAHAHAHA. so one soul who I couldn't get eh.   You're lucky girl.  You weren't the kindest sweetest person on Earth when you were alive.  Looking down on the homeless when they asked you for money.  Caring about being a rich and famous actress and making a lot of money instead of helping others.  It's a good thing you knew Alocki and WHAT'S HIS NAME favored you.  You should have at least gone to Purgatory."

"HE is the one who decided Fifi's fate." Alocki answered.  "  I only told HIM what I thought of Fifi."

THE MAN WITH THE HORNS smiled at Alocki.   "Alocki, you could have been with me and ruled my kingdom with me for all eternity but you decided to join HIM."

"You are the great trickster," Alocki said.

I joined in.  "Well I'm just so happy she is on HIS side and not your side and as for being tough on the homeless I mean they were like healthy adults and I told them they should look for work instead of spend all their time begging for money. Also after being a rich and famous actress I was gonna givea big chunk of my money so there.  Can we leave Alocki?  I've had enough of Mr Stinky fella here.  I'm ready to meet the MAN WHO MADE EVERYTHING."

Just as Alocki was about to shut the 'viewer' off we heard a voice.  "Oh please WATER WATER....HE looked behind himself in his 'cave' then gave out a roar of laughter.

"AHHAHAHAHAHA" HE said as a went back into HIS cave and came back grabbing the young hands of a young woman trying to run away from him.  I then recognized her as KARLA.  Something must have happened to her as the same time as my accident.

"LET ME GO YOU.....DEVIL YOU," she shouted.  "I'M SO THIRSTY I WANT SOME WATER."

"You'll get a sip of water after you've done your work like get dinner ready for me.  NOW BACK TO WORK." HE said to Karla.

"KARLA WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU." I shouted.

"Karla looked up at me.  "YOU?  WHY ARE YOU UP THERE AND I'M DOWN HERE?  I mean I have a drink and a few pills to put me asleep a few hours and the next  thing I know I'm down here."

I got smug  "You should have gone to church every Sunday like I did Karla?  You remind me so much of Charles Laughton in "The Hunchback at Notre Dame.  WATER WATER."

Alocki looked at me frowned.  "Fifi please do not insult the condemned."

Karla shook her angry fist at me.  "YOU BETTER WATCH OUT YOU SMARTALEK REDHEAD.  IF HE UP THERE CHANGES HIS MIND YOU'LL BE JOINING ME DOWN HERE"

HE laughed.  "Allright that's enough if you want that sip of water get back to work.  I want my dinner and I want it on time  That's why all the souls down here look like they did in the prime of life.  Healthy young men to dig the coal and heat the fires and healthy young women to keep me and my 'staff'...... entertained......you know like 'belly dancing.'  AND THE BRIGHT SIDE IS EVERYONE WILL BE YOUNG FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY.  AN ETERNAL FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH. HAHAHAHHAHHA.  And remember young lady, Karla's right.  One slip and you'll be mine.  I LIKE REDHEADS, THEIR HAIR MIXES IN SO WELL WITH THE ATMOSHPHERE DOWN HERE..HAHAHAHAHAHAH......HAHAHAHAHAHA" 

The viewer screen disappears and the grass comes back.

As we're leaving things get foggy and my head starts spinning.  "Alocki what the heck is going on?"

"I do not know Fifi, perhaps you are going somewhere else."

"OMIGOSH I HOPE I'M NOT GOING DOWN THERE.  I DIDN'T MEAN TO TEASE KARLA......"

The next thing I know is I wake up in Biffs car on the curb on Van Nuys blvd. real groggy like.  Biff is shaking me.  "Fifi are you ok?   We just missed that car and I made a hard right turn.  Good thing I know how to drive, we just missed that telephone poll.  The acceleration must have caused you to faint You were out a few seconds."

I put my hand to my head.  "Omigosh another crazy dream.  Biff do you know that Karla's number?"

"Fifi why are you worried about her?  You need to get to work."

"PLEASE CALL HER BIFF."

Biff took out his cell and called Karla's 'club' up.  They said she not there  and would be coming to work that night.  I asked Biff to tell the club to check if Karla was OK.  The club called back about ten minutes later and said she was fine.  She was just sleeping and told the club manager she just had the strangest dream about being real thirsty all the time.

"Are you satisified? Happy?" Biff asked as we headed toward Jimmy's.  "Why are you worried about someone you don't even know or like."

"Let's just say we may have something in common Biff and leave at that."  And one more thing maybe I will give one of those homeless bums a quarter or two the next time I meet one but I still will tell them they should go out and find a job.