You don't remember me, but that's okay.  I haven't written in here for a long time; please forgive me.

And please forgive me for the profanity-laced entry I wrote last time.  I was angry, angry at myself, angry at God, angry at the world.  I had just been diagnosed with a mimicker of Lou Gehrig's disease, and I was having a pretty tough time of it.

Now I've since learned to accept my limitations.   There are days where I do feel sorry for myself; happily, those days are becoming rarer and farther between.  I am happier now than I've been in a very long time.

For you see, several months back, I found God.  I accepted Christ into my heart.  I am now a born-again Christian.  I go to church every Sunday.  I go to Living Waters Assembly of God here in Nashville, which is the church my caretaker, Tracey, attends.  I love it.

I have made many new friends, among them being Jennifer Kaylin Steele, who is disabled like me.  She was injured in a construction accident that left her paralyzed from the waist on down, and she's very sweet, very outgoing. 

Because of my illness/disease, I am very weak.  I use a wheelchair to get around most days, while for short distances, I rely on a pair of crutches.  I wear braces on my legs to further support me while walking.  My ankles are terribly weak.  I'd much rather use the wheelchair because there's not so much of a risk of me falling, which is what sometimes happens when I use the crutches.

I can be expected to live for a long time--20 years or more.  I am in my early fifties now; am getting grey in my hair, more wrinkles on my face.  I look like an old woman; it's scary to see age creeping up on me.

I got some good news:  I have a job interview at Nashville Memorial Hospital, where I applied to be a hospital information specialist.  I would be the one to help people when they walk in, and I'd be the one to tell them where to go, be it for treatment, doctor's appointments, or to different departments (e.g., emergency room, x-ray department, neurology, that type of thing).  I have the interview on Monday; I'm getting nervous!  Wish me the best, and moreover, please keep me in your prayers!

I'll let you know how the interview went sometime next week; stay tuned!

I got in contact with the Lou Gehrig Society, who will be able to help me with managing my symptoms or answering any concerns I might have about PMA.  I see a doctor at the Lou Gehrig clinic every several months (sooner if I'm having newer symptoms), and best part is, it's all free.  The Lou Gehrig Society pays for all treatments, medications, so I don't have to worry about medical bills.  It's been a godsend.

It is upsetting to see the patients who have LGD:  I've seen some who started on canes or walkers end up in wheelchairs or dependent on ventilators to help them breathe; and they can't move anything but their eyes.  Lou Gehrig disease is one of the cruelest diseases known to mankind, and for me to have something like it is very troubling.

I just hope I don't end up unable to move or speak; I couldn't live with it!!  I pray to God every day to spare me, in which He has so far.

I pray this continues.

My friend Benita Olivez has LGD; met her when I first started coming to the Lou Gehrig meetings.  She's ventilator-dependent, can't talk above a whisper, and can only move her eyes.  Benita is a happy minded person though; you can see it on her face, in her eyes.  She is very good at making her expressions, feelings known to people, even with the seriousness of her condition.  She is very inspirational to see!

Benita goes to my church when she's well enough.

Tracey and I have since maintained our friendship.  We do a lot of things together:  go to church, go to the LGS meetings every month, go to my appointments, go out to eat (Golden Corral is our favorite hangout; we go there every Saturday and Sunday for breakfast and again for lunch on Sunday, after church), perhaps catch a movie or two if there's anything worth seeing.  The last movie I saw was Nim's Island or something like that with Jodie Foster and young Abigail Breslin; it was very charming; I loved it!

Well, I am going to go; Tracey and I are going to go out to eat at Olive Garden.  Want to get there before there's too big of a crowd; Saturday nights are usually very busy at the Olive Garden.  I will write in here again soon, probably Monday afternoon or Tuesday, depending on what I find out at the interview I mentioned earlier.  Take care and may God bless you always!

~Love, your friend, Lindsay Maureen Bauer. :)