Friday, June 27, 2008, Fairbanks, Alaska, 1:26 a.m.~

Dear Journal~

Kat here.  Kat Delchamps-Hammer.  Can't sleep; am too depressed.  Ever since listening to some Cajun music on You-Tube, I'm suddenly homesick for my beloved N'Awlins, Louisiana.

I was bored, so got onto the computer; went to You-Tube; was watching some vids by Cajun acts like Jimmy C. Newman, Doug Kershaw, Belton Richard, BeauSoleil, and others; now I can't seem to stop crying.  I haven't been to Louisiana since Frank and I were married; that's been over a year now.  I keep trying to talk my husband into taking me back there, but he won't hear of it:  he loves Alaska too much.

I like Alaska, too, don't get me wrong; but it's not...Louisiana.  I can't get crawfish here unless we special order it (then we're payin' out the nose!), Cajun music is hard to come by, and most people have never heard of Cajun music here.  I sometimes feel like I'm the only Cajun around these parts.

I have been crying; so far I haven't awakened my snoring husband, but I am sure if I don't stop, he'll probably wonder what's gong on with me.  Maybe it's my pregnancy, maybe it's my hormones--I don't know, but something's outta whack here, folks.  Seems that I can't shake the blues; been like this since Katrina.  Maybe I'm sufferin' from PTSD or pre postpartem depression.  I'm a train wreck of emotions!!

I know my kitty is concerned:  she keeps looking at me, meowing incessantly.  I can only hold her, cry in her fur, try to stifle my sobbing.  I don't want to wake Frank up, but I can't help it.  I'm too sad; I miss N'Awlins--let alone, Louisiana--so freakin' much!!!!

As bad as I want to go back home to N'Awlins, I'm scared to.  I am afraid at what I may see when I go to the Ninth Ward, the area where I once resided before that b**** Katrina stole everythin' I owned.  I don't think I could take it, to tell you the honest truth.

As a result, I'm stuck here in Alaska, shiverin' to death, bein' miserable.

Frank's tried to be supportive of my feelin's, but he don't understand, no, not really.  He never lived down there in Louisiana; he don't know the joie de vivre, the party-until-you-puke atmosphere, the very heartbeat of what makes N'Awlins so great.  O, he's been there, but not to live; I lived there until Hurricane Katrina roared through, and my heart is still there.  I love N'Awlins; I guess I always will. 

I guess they can take a gal out of Louisiana, but they can't take Louisiana from me.  Louisiana will always remain in me.  Guess I have the accent to prove that; still talk like I'm still down there; people still look at me funny whenever I open my mouth to speak.

Well, I am going to try to get back to sleep, or I won't be worth a dang when it's time to rise for work.  I will write again soon; until then, take care.  This is your bummed Cajun friend, Kat, signing off!  Maybe I can convince Frank to get me back to Louisiana soon, even if it's for a short visit; but I just gotta go back there!!  I need my Cajun music fix!!

~Love, your friend, Kat Delchamps-Hammer. :(