Hello.  This is Grace.  Grace Striker. 

I am the mother to six year old Lucas Daniel, as well as ten month old Journie-Renee' and four year old Tevin Mitchell.  My kids are all great; however, I have my hands full with our oldest.

You see, Lucas is autistic.  He isn't like most little boys his age. 

Lucas has moments where he seems to be in his own little world; it seems he relates better to objects or things better than actual people.  New situations make him agitated, make him act up all the more, and at times, he is extremely difficult to control.

Sometimes he's had meltdowns in public; this is when I wish I could crawl underneath a rock or the floor would open up, swallow me whole, because I am tired of dealing with his outbursts.

I have tried to be patient with Lucas; however, living with him is like living with a firecracker:  you never know when he is going to explode.  That's probably the worst part about his having a little-understood disability (neurological disorder) like autism.

Another thing that bothers me is when people make comments or stare at me as though I have horns growing out of my forehead.  I didn't ask to have a child like Lucas:  it just--happened.  This is where I wish I could just tell them to shut up, stay out of my business, just let me be, raise my son as I see fit.

Just last week, he had a meltdown in church, right in Sunday school class.  He reacted by literally ripping the clothes off his body until he was standing stark-naked, right in front of everyone to see, and screaming his head off. 

Nobody knows what set him off; he just went ballistic.  I had to leave the service to get him; I then left to take him home, wrapped up in a towel, so nobody would see his birthday suit.  It was beyond mortifying; since then I haven't been back to church, for fear of what people may say to me.

This is just but one of many instances where Lucas has misbehaved in public.  People tell me I don't discipline my child.  Well, the fact of the matter is this:  I do.  I do discipline my child.  It's extremely difficult to try to parent, correct a child's behavior when he won't listen, no matter how much I talk to him.  He is extremely bullheaded; he's just like his father at times in temperment.

Now I am afraid to leave the house because I'm afraid I'll run into people I know from church; I am afraid they'll say something about my son, and right now I can't deal with it.  I know I shouldn't run away from my problems, but what's a stressed-out mother to do besides wanting to kill her child??

I'm open to any (and all) suggestions.

~Sincerely, Grace Elizabeth Striker, mom to Lucas (and also Tevin and Journie-Renee'). :(